Brithday bashes and Stephen Foster Story!

So today was jammed packed! First I had Wacky's 4th bday party.. dear God that kid made out like a bandit in loot! I added to that, of course! I got him two shirts (One was black and white tie die and said "I'm with the band, and we rock" and the other was multi colour deep tie die adn said "Surfer" on it), a DVD nad Batman and Scooby Doo together (kid is a NUT about scooby doo and batman!), Bubbles (what he told me friday that he REALLY wanted for his birthday!) and a framed poster of the old Scooby art that said "Hey man, like, get a clue"... He LOVED it!

I was sad that we had to leave the party early for the little guy. But we had so much fun. His parents are a hoot and I consider them small friends (meaning we don't go out for beer after work, but we talk a lot and hang out at daycare and functions). They made me laugh... last year, Wack had a chocolate cake and all that.. and I HATE chocolate.. so this year, knowing I'd be there, they got a white cake with white icing... IT's amazing these people care more for the taste of everyone at their party then my own family... but I'm PMSing and everything makes me cry.. and needless to say I choked up and made up an excuse like "I need to go pee!" to get out so they didn't think I was rediculous!

Regardless, Wacky opened presents and we chilled with his parents and Naerys parents and ate lightly (as they DID have a very pig centered spread.. and I Don't eat pig.. to which Boney (Wacky's dad) was like "well shit, had I known that, I would have gotten the honey glazed turkey.. it's MUCH better!) and p,layed a bit with the boys.. it was a good morning!

Then I came home and we left out to Stephen Foster Story down in Bardstown. IT was good.. first time I'd seen it. It was a good musical.. but not something I'll be paying 16 bucks to see again.. it was no RENT.

Now I'm off to bed with a migraine and I hope mum forgets about church in the morning...

Dear God...

She's written a book!

Unlearning Adoption...

Jessy DeBalzo, idiot anti adoption advocate, has written a book. IF anyone has been to her webpage before Adoption, Legalized Lies you will see she is not very good at her writing skills.

This girl, and I say girl cause sh'es not much older than me but still have the mentality of a child, claims that all adoptees are mentally harmed by adoption, that all adoptive parents are "kidnappers" and lying to their children and that all parents who surrender their kids for adoptions are coerced and then feel horribly regretful for the rest of their life for giving up their child. According to her, International Adoption is the worst kind because we, as AP's, are "Stealing the childrne from their culture" and "forcing them to live where they were not born" which in turn causes Internation Adoptee's to be "resentful" of america..

This chick has a serious problem, and I just laugh that she feels she has enough human knowledge to write a book... This should be interesting...

(All quotes are from a livejournal debate community that I am in with her (and hundreds of other people)... I never miss a moment to expose this idiot for what she is, and I do use strong language with her because she is for the abolition of Adoption under the false pretense that no one should be able to surrender their baby. And I know FOR A FACT that she believes in Infanticide over adoption. Anyone like that deserves to be tarred and feathered.)

a song (again)

There is a song we used to sing at church camp that I cannot think of the lyrics to to save my life...

Okay, I know most of them.. but it's the lyrics that gets the poor dog from the swap to Hawaii that gets me...

if you know this song, help a friend out here!

There once was a poor little doggie
Who lived with a poor little froggie
The dog was upset
Cause he was all wet
But that was okay with the froggie...
Some funky transition!!!!!!!
Now he's the
Hullah hullah baby from Hawaii
The hullah hullah baby from Hawaii
The hullah hllah baby from Hawaii today!!

Fun Fourth

What a fucking fun fourth!!! Pardon my language, but my goodness!

The day started up at 9 am with cleaning the house. The house wasn't messy, but mum is so scared of someone complaining because we have cat hair. Regardless, it was a grueling process to de cat hair everything and make sure the inside was bearable.. even though the whole picnic was outside... lol.

So family showed up.. one uncle couldn't be here because he had a bday party scheduled for his step granddaughter... which was okay. Everyone else was here in one sense or another (two female cousins, two male cousins, and my older brothers weren't here... so I guess really just the aunt and uncles were represented.. but thas't cool).

After a good cookout with no major incidents (we had my cousins BF's son spill his drink and the baby (who's 16 months) freak out for no reason) everyone went home but my little cousin. I love this little chick like she's my sister. She even has the same haircut as me! REgardless, we played gameboy and disney games mos thte night.. Then off to my grandmothers to drop her off only to learn my aunt would be shooting off fireworks...

So at 10 I went back to my grandmothers to shoot off fireworks.. as you can tell by this 10:45 post, the firework show was short! (C only bought a 3 dollar bag and a bunch of sparklers!) After 6 boxes of sparklers and a few measly things, I came home. I love love love sparklers and I hope my future children share this obsession!

All in all, I've had a great fourth, and can only hope ya'll have done the same! I can't wait until I Can share this little family tradition with my own kids! I am rather excited to show my kids what's up about fourth of july all the time! It's exciting to think about!

So how did everyone's fourth go? Those with children home for the first time, did ya'll have fun showing your new kids fireworks? Do tell!

Olympics

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/news?slug=ap-ioc-2014&prov=ap&type=lgns

That's exciting.

Happy fourth

I'm really getting in the bad habit of staying up past midnight.. it's 12:51 right now and I have horrible heart burn. Tis why I'm awake.

Anyway, I wanted to take a few secs to wish everyone a happy fourth! What are your fourth plans if you have any?

We are doing a picnic here. I think I am going to have the boy I take out occasionally over for some fun. My mum, step da, grandmother, aunt D and her family, Uncle J and his wife, possibly cousin M and her BF and his son (who is a little red headed cutie!) and possibly cousin S and her husband and kid and possibly (again) Uncle S and his other dauther S.

As you can see, my family makes NO concrete plans. My Aunt M on my da's side is having a party too... but neither my brothers nor my da will be there... so I ain't going. I haven't seen that side of the family ALONE in ages. Thanskgiving we went to cousin K's and hung out.. but I could hide behind the horrible stories of my middle brother's escapades as a little kid (he got more spankings than me and my other brother combined). But without anyone there.. well I ain't going.. simple as that!

Anyway, I'm gunna go piddle aroundon sims for a bit because I still can't sleep.. them I'm gunna try sleep.

Happy fourth everyone!

Template

So I'm tweaking and moving things about.. but I think by tomorrow I can get into this template.. or create my own... this one is much too.. airy for me.. seems so damn happy that I wanna pull my hair out! Regardless, it's after midnight (again) and I'm tired.

Anyway, I had to start my counter over at 0 :( Last count I was up to 22.. I was so excited! 22 people.. and only 4 of those were me.. which means.. 18 people visited my site! (and if you visited personally 16 times, I don't wanna know!)

Anyway! Bed time and tomorrow is our fruit tasting.. I'm gunna try to see if I can et my camera working and take cute pics without faces that I can post of my daycare kiddos! I'm excited about it!

Okay I couldn't do the cutesy.. now I'm back to the basics... and tomorrow I'm going to spend my time tweaking a couple different blogger templates I've found....

(Thanks Debbie for the links!)

bored

It's 1:08am and I am still awake. I didn't even sleep in this morning, because of church. Regardless!

Everyone is making new templates for their blogs... and while I can design a website, I'm a bit baffled at how to make a good working template...

I'm going to spend the day tomorrow after we give my aunt her shot working on it... but I may call for help! If anyone wants to offer a bit of advice or a few "dead" templates I can steal the HTML coding from, I'd appreciate it!

Anyways, off to try to sleep now... annoying walmart commercial on about walmart going green.. that bugs me to see that shit...

Right, sleep, work in the morning... and eventually I'll have my inspiration post up... if any of you have read Donna Partow's "Becoming a Vessle God can Use" well, I've found my starfish.... Yeah makes no sense to anyone else! haha! Anyways! Good night all!

Cool thing, and wow!

I added a ticker to my page a bit ago.. and 6 people have visited since then.. AWESOME! Someone does actually look at my page other than me!!

Anyway, now that my wow is over, here is a really awesome thing.

Debbie over at Family Reunion has lauched her website called Orphan Warmth. This is an awesome project! If I'm understanding it correctly, what's happening is, you order a blanket and one also gets donated to an orphanage, I'm assuming in Russia. If you don't want to order a blanket, but you want to donate to help this cause, she also has a donate button!!! Please check it out!


Orphan Warmth

I can't wait to get a bit more money back to order this! I am going to try to get a custom one ordered, but it'll be a while! Either way, think about it, and please please please help these orphans stay warm! (and help Debbie and her husband (who's name I'm unsure of, sorry!) bring home their children, one at a time!)

My PSA

So, the movie is over, and it's actually a pretty good movie.

The main girl had sex with a big jock who turned out to be a herion addict and HIV+. He died and the whole school slowly found out he was an addict, but no one knew about his status.. and the movie progresses from there telling the two stories.. one of the girl who slept with the jock and the teacher who has HIV... It was almost realistic.. as realistic as a lifetime movie can ever be.

I do like the end though, how they put up the facts about HIV conception and misconception. One of my favourite lines was "didn't you know, now you can get HIV from Seman, Vaginal fluid, Blood and VINYL!" .. but one would have to see the movie to actually understand that.

So here's my PSA...

If you've never been tested for HIV and have had sex, I encourage you ot get tested... Okay, I know... like most people who read my blog are older married people.. so possibly this doesn't apply to you... but if a younger person, my ageish (like early 20's), happens by here... please get tested. I've never had sex, but I have been tested simply bcause I work with children.. and by law, the parents do not have to tell us if the kids have HIV... so I would rather be safe than sorry... but if you are having sex, casually, monogomausly.. what is a one test going to do? Just get tested so you know...

That's about it.. that's my soap box.. go to a free clinic... and get tested... Want to find one? Contact me, I put together a list of free clinics in all 50 states for a group I was apart of in Highschool.

*steps down*

Anyway, good movie!

quick updates

so I'm slow, it's okay! I haven't updated in a bit.

What's new.. really nothing.

I have strep throat, thanks to a very inconsiderate parent who sent her children to school with strep and didn't bother ot tell anyone.. she knew they had strep because when she was called to come and get them for a fever her response was "damn, and I thought I had 2 more hours before the motrin wore off... guess I should make thier strep test appointment now".. it's life.. BWAH! how dare you! So now I've had to miss our big volunteer project on saturday and I had to miss a day of work because of it.

I have my knee surgery scheduled on Friday the 13th, of all days! I have a meeting with my surgeon thursday afternoon at 1pm. I'm rather nervous. It's a simple surgery, just reparing a tear in my miniscus (sp?) and cleaning out broken cartilage so it won't crackle and pop so much.. and draining a bit of fluid. Dr. R, my normal ortho, said it's a 20 min procedure that will keep me out maybe 3-5 days of work, which sucks, but I can deal!

I am trying ot find an easy bread and butter recipe fo rthe fours to make when I take them back off in a couple weeks. I've got an easy butter one, but now I need an easy simple bread one for them! Any suggestions?

It's almost 9pm and my mum and I are going to watch Girl, Positive. It's basically about a girl who hooks up with someone, who has hooked up with someone else and ends up HIV positive. It's supposed to be really good, so I'm hoping it lives up to the hype.

HIV is my disease of study ever since I was about 12... oddly what turned me on to it was the MTV show Real World. Pedro Zamora was HIV positive and he was very open about it. He truely was an amazing guy and made me think about it. When I was studying genetics as my first major, my goal was to work on a cure for HIV... To understand the disease and everything else. Regardless, it's a very interesting disease and I can't wait to see how it's portrayed in the movie.

Anyway, there's nothing else going on here. I'm still agency hunting.. I've found that my original agency is really expensive compared to others, but I'm now wondering if it's a get what you pay for business... who knows.

Well it's time for the movie! I'll give a review afterwards!

*snore*

It's 11:30, my brother is on his way over for Scrambled eggs and to "talk" about children... all I can think is that he's finally got his GF preggos... I'd laugh so hard if he did.. so hard... but I'd still help him take care of the kiddos (his GF is awesome, but is slowly going mental with the thought of her parents death a year ago in August.. they were killed on that flight that crashed at Bluegrass Airport off the short runway)... regardless... He says he wants to know about my plans for kids and talk about "who gets what name"... I know he wants Aubrey... IT is HIS middle name after all.. but I'll fight him for it!

Now I must make some eggs! Who knew eggs at midnight would become a family fun tradition... if only my other brother is with the middle one.. that'd be fecking awesome!

Frustrated

I got my first "offical" write up at work today... apparently a parent thinks I am not paying enough attention to their child so they sat there adn chumped up charges against me so that my boss had to write me up to shut that woman up.. needless to say I'm done dealing with her son all together (and I actually liked the kid.. blah). Parents don't understand this... if you go straight to the boss, your kid does not become our favourite.. we would never do anything to harm teh child or neglect him, but we don't interact on teh same level... If you have a problem with your daycare teachers, go to them first.. and then if you meet resistance, then go to the boss.. but going over their heads just.. pisses them off.

I'm really frustrated because during my write up I started crying. I'm already having a horrible week (it's the week before father's day and this is my 10th father's day since my da just up and left my mum, my brothers and myself) and I'm PMSing really bad this week already... and it's like.. UGH! The only good thing is we are a small daycare (11 staff members totall.. something like 50 kids) and I know the boss from church personally... so I didn't feel so stupid... it was just that no matter what it felt personal. I understand now it wasn't, but it's like.. damn it! lol. So now I have my first official reprimand in my folder in 3 years... I guess that's okay.

My brother is coming to pick up his car tomorow sometime with his girlfriend. I'm sad to lose his car! I have enjoyed haivng "my own" car this week. Granted mum's in Texas, so I have her car and my step father's car, but still. Starting next week I have to go back to sharing with mum. Blah. All well I suppose it could be worse.. I could have to take the bus!

My mum flies back in on sunday. I'm not excited about the return of king kong (or my step father... whichever!) but I am excited for my mum to be back around.

Doug and Kim on the radio read my "love on your kids friday" today. I was amazing and quite giddy (amazing my day started out so good). IF you don't know who D&K are, they are local radio hosts on the Christian radio station round here and tey do a cool thing on friday where parents can write or call and "love on their kids". And so I sent an email just saying that my kids are waiting for my in Russian and that even though they are so far away I still want to love on them.. and they read it.. sweet!

Anyway I'm excited at the buzzing on Frus.. and now I'm signing off to go shower and sleep!

Starbucks

I have an undying love for Starbucks... it's a nasty obsession... but I'm having fun with it! I looove the people who work there. I have two starbucks in the area that I go to and I just.. they are so cool.

Like today, for example... I went to redeem my "free anything of anysize" coupon and the guy I got, Josh, was awesome! I went to the window of the drive thru, and I handed him the coupon and instantly he was joking with me. He kept asking me what WAS my bad service, but when I went to answer, he'd stop me going "uhm.. let me guess... you got.. an EAR in your chai!" I'd answer no.. and make some comment like "now THAT'D be something to write home to mum about!" and he'd just laugh and continue trying to guess... finally my Chai was ready and he was all "now really, what was your problem"... I explained that that week I came and it took almost 25 mins for my chai and he was like "SERIOUSLY!!!".. I laughed and eplained that hte guy in front of me was a douch and kept making the poor girl take back his coffee and screaming at her through the drive thru window. He felt so "bad" for me that he gave me 2 more free coupons, telling me how much he wished my experiences would be better... Then he felt bad because my chair had Cinamon on it.. and I asked for it without that... so he gave me another coupon and a NEW chai tonight..

I'm in love... seriously.. with my starbucks!

Do any of you have fun/wacky/crazy Coffee/tea stories? I'd love to hear em!

Romanian Adoptions

I know Romania has ceased all Adoptions but I have read a couple things from 2005 that have made me think about it...

This article, from April 2005, states that adoptions, under a new law (which I can't find anything recently about), are available only after all other avenues have been pursured... such as in country adoption, family finds, things like that... also states that adoption of a child under the age of two is prohibited...

Has anyone heard anything about this? Does anyone have any more recent articles about this? I'd love to know if adopting an older child from Romania is still possible...

Romania was my first choice in adoption.. I spent 3 years perfecting the Romanian language... it was always a dream to adopt from there. I would love to someday still adopt from there and moving to Russia as my second choice (though now i claim it my first choice) was simply because so much of Romania is like Russia... even the langauges were similar (now having studied Russian for a bazillion years).

Regardless, if anyone could help me out I'd appreciate it! I'm going to do a lot of research... I can't even find anything on this on official webpages... I just find sindicated news about it from different European papers.

Thanks in advance!!

Debt Free

18 months until debt free.. so I thought.. Apparently they have sent my Best Buy card off because of a mix up.. so now I ahve ot deal with collections.. thank god they have the wrong phone number ... that's all I can say..

Regardless, I hope I can be debt free in 18 months and still be able to save up for a car and adoption.. yeah that fancy adoption save up.. BUT I've got a lot already saved up for adoption... which is probably WHY the mix up occured in my BB card.. hah!

Anyways, Tomorrow starts a new day.. 30 days of no wants... if it isn't required, I'm not buying it.. including outside food.. yes.. dumb me has to get up in the morning earlier and MAKE lunch! AHHH!!!! Who gets up at 22 and MAKES lunch in a little brown bag... I used to make fun of those people!

Anyways! I'm sleepy, it's almost 1 am, but I'm thinking too much to sleep.. thus now I have to go lay down and count sheep!

Good night all!

From Russia With Love

Dateline did an article tonight on a family who adopted 3 sets of twins from Russia... I want to be that family!

I enjoyed the bit of the article I got to see (my cousin came over to talk about her acceptance into Nursing school). I did not like, however, the big emphasis on gender vs colour. Like the little boy who picked the purple snorkle, and the parents freaked... the da took the blue snorkle and kept saying "blue, boy"... it bothered me to a deep level... it's a little boy.. he doesn' thave an understanding of colour vs gender yet, and he should never be forced to fit into that sterotype!

Regardless, what that woman did was amazing! If you didn't watch it, please visit the link and READ about it. Those parents were truely selfless and did an amazing thing for not just 2 children, as they had planned, but 6 children total! Amazing story!

St. Jude's

so last week was the annual St. Jude's Trike-a-thon. Of course the daycare I work at participated in it. We had a blast!

As part of the St. Jude week we had, we made cards for the children there. Our kids wanted to! I just finished the letter of it and I wanted to post a bopy here.. hopefully tomorrow I'll remember to take pictures of the cards and let you see how AMAZING the three's and four's classes did!

until then, here is the letter... (my name and the name of the daycare have been changed... mainly because I don't want my last name posted about and I don't want any weirdo's who stalk blogs (the bad stalk) to come by... creepy!)

Dear St. Jude's,

My name is Hawk and I teach at a small daycare in Louisville, Ky. Our daycare participates in the St. Jude Trike-a-thon every year and this year the children wanted to do more. After scouring our brains, the lady I co-teach with, Dana, and I decided the best way is to let children do what they do best, be creative.
We spoke in depth about cancers and we answered many questions about how sometimes people just get sick, and how the smallest things can help them smile, which makes everyone feel better, if even for a moment. The children decided to make cards to help the kids at St. Jude's smile.
Enclosed in the envelope you will find the work of three and four year old children in their plight to help other kids feel better with a smile. Each card was hand made by a different kid and each child that made them poured their heart and soul into the project (even giving up a whole day outside just to finish them).
Our hope is that each child who receives these cards can smile, at least for a small amount of time, and someday be able to smile all the way out of the hospital, holding only their card as a reminder of their time there.


Sincerely,


Hawk
and the staff and children of Daycare

LMAO

Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school
These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners.


1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high h schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one
of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. T! he whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. Traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River .

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine
or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

I'll admit it!

I'm a huge huge huge huge huge HUGE! Josh Groban fan. I heard him on something a long time ago, way before Ally McBeal, back when he was merely training.. and I fell in love!

So I heard this song, and it really hit kinda in the adoption front.. whether it be from the kid's perspective or the parent perspective... but in the end the meesage is still the same! Don't give up, you are loved!


You are loved (don't give up) Josh Groban

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved

A song

It is so amazing how a song can stir up so many emotions and memories in a person.

There is one such song for me, and I have heard it on several shows final season show. It is "Hallelujah" (by Rufus Wainwright and I'm sure many others). Rufus Wainwright sings the one particular version that tugs at my heart strings.

I don't really remember why, I block a lot of my teenage years out of my memory, but I do know that one person gave it to me in a deep pit of dispair and it became something of an anthem, and I don't honestly know why.

Everytime I hear that song, my years come back ot me as if they were 50 or so years ago (they were not, I'm merely 22). I think about the wasted years of my teenage times and I think about who I was then, and who I am bcomming... I think about all the silly dreams and how so far, nothing of that such has come true. I often think about what the goal was when I was 13, when I was 15, at 16 and so on. Somewhere along the way that goal became to survive... And now, I'm still just surviving.

One of my biggest goals was to adopt a child by my 25th birthday from Russia. At the current pace, that may not happen yet... but what will be will be right? Que Sura, sura... It's kind of like C'est la Vie... That's life! It's a motto...

Regardless, I have nothing in my life to show for my ages now expect for a few scars, mental and physical, and a deeper appreciation for what I'm up against in the future.

Anyway, it's late, I'm in a big thinking mood and I'm bitter because I can't afford to move out anymore. I have to drop school to afford living as I am now, and I have medical bills piling up I never thought I'd have, and yet all I can think is "well, I can name 17 people who have it worse than me, so shut up already"... ahh yes, ahh yes.

Anyway, bed now.


Hallelujah: Rufus Wainwright

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty
in the moonlight
overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne,
she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you'd let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me do you?
Remember when I moved in you?
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

ugh

I'm so bloody sick of hearing this chick's anti adoption bullshit!

I just needed that second to vent.

More fun at work

I am still with the fours, so I am starting our "happy heart" thing tomorrow.

Current projects we are working on:
Reading with group one (Abs, Han, Na, and Core)
Happy hearts


Happy hearts:
What is happy hearts? Happy hearts is training children in the idea that they can be happy while they don't always win. It teaches children to be happy for others, as well as teaching children to be obedient.

The main reason I created this programme was so I can stop the stupid fits my fours throw for no reason. I have a few children who just think they can do and do and do with no consciquences. Tomorrow that all stops.

How I'm doing the programme:
I've thought long and hard about this programme, about how to go about it without killing the children's natural spirit. I have decided on this. I have created each child a heart, daily they will get a new heart. Every teacher in the building has a right to take a piece of their heart. This is only done when they get placed in time out, when they throw a fit, when they refuse to obey, and the likes. They can taek a piece no larger then the bit of their pinky nail, but it's a piece none the less. The children's goals is to go the whole day without losing a piece of their heart.
At the end of the week, the children's hearts will be looked at. If there is a steady increase, they will surely know it. If not, they won't. I am thinking of making the weekly prize the ability to choose the class activity.

What I hope to accomplish:
I hope to have the children understand and trust me. I will never ask them to do anything that will put them in danger. I will never harm them intentionally and I will NEVER ask them to do something for no reason. Every time I ask them to sit correctly, I have a reason. Every time I ask them to listen, it is for a reason. I want them to understand that.
Also, I want them to learn to be happy for someone else when they win. We already have a "happy heart" moment, that when someone else wins, they say "congrats" to them and most of them give eachother a hug. But we also have the person who wins tell the group "thank you" and "Congrats for your trying!" I want the kids, especially Abs, to understand that it is okay if you didn't win to be happy. It is not the end all be all if you do not win. I hope this works.

Hopefully I can implement this without too much parental anger. This is a big thing I am working on, huge thing!


Regardless, tomorrow should be fun.

For all my adoptive and PA families

New pants!

Mwaahhahahahha

I got new pants and swim trunks today! I'm quite excited because at WALMART they were on sale for 16 bucks and the Swimmers for 15... that NEVER happens... as I like my pants bigger and generally get from the "big mens" section of the store... 16 bucks for pants! After I get paid on monday and pay out my bills I'm going to think about replacing my other 2 pairs of pants with nice new clean ones for 16 bucks! (okay people, generally these pants range in price from 22-25 depends on teh time of the year...)

And I got them one size smaller then normal and they STILL fit the way I like... I love it!

Why I hate clowns, and other musings of a tired mind

So that picture shows you the calander page of mine for the month of May. now the whole reason I got this calender (co-edikit, who I oddly have several amusing shirts from) was this month. I am DEATHLY afraid of clowns.. yes at 22 years old that is hard to state outloud. I suppose it's not so much a fear as it is a DEATHLY large distaste of them now. Why you may ask, would someone be afraid of innocent little clowns?... I'll tell you... Barnum and Baily Circus. My poor children will never go to a B&B Circus tour if I can help it! The clowns on large stilts... they just... scare me! And one walked right next to me, as we were near the front row, and I just freaked out... since then, whenever I have a particularly terrible nightmare, it somehow involves a clown. Yes, it's stupid, I can recieve psychological help for this, but the fact still remains that clowns and I don't mix, even to this day!

As for other musings...

My cousin is pregnant again. She just... ugh. Perhaps I'm starting to feel something for this whole "I'm never getting pregnant" attitude... or perhaps I just want to start a family so bad... but hearing that she is pregnant, while I'm happy for her, makes me want to strangle her at the same time. Now don't get me wrong. I have genuine love and happiness that she is expecting her second child. They have had a much harder time concieving this time than they did with Bella. (Bella was an opps a year before their wedding.) Regardless, I just... want to be her, and that's odd. Perhaps after I get the ball rolling on my adoption (someday) I won't have the feeling of wanting something inside of me... ew.

A crazy thing happened on our street today. About 5 doors down, on the other side of the street, some idiot crashed through a garage and kept going... the story is wild! This guy was drunk, waiting for a friend outside his house (not the guy, the friend... the friend is who lives on my street). He decided he had had enough waiting time and was oging to leave. He apparently slammed his car into reverse, spedo ut of the driveway, only the hit the car parked on the other side of the road (only one side in this neighborhood has built in driveways... most of us on my side park on the street). So apparently recognizing his boo-boo slams it into gear and TRIES AGAIN! Only the hit the same car in a different spot (in his defense... he did do better... instead of the drivers side door, he got the front side... almost there). Well realizing he was never going to back out, he slammed the car into gear and sped foreward... through his buddies garage (a wooden piece of poo) and kept going through the fence and onto the "grey" alleyway behind that row of houses (we have loads of alley ways round this end of town too!). What a flipping moron.. and it's not like we dont' know who it was... The guy who's car got hit twice was pissed. Mum and I came home from my grandmothers to find cop cars.. both going "oh shit!" cause we have had a string of breakins in the neighboorhood. Well, our neighbor came out and was like "ya'll missed it!" So he told us the story. We ended up going down to talk to the neighbors from that end of the street... met some cool people, and just watched as the cops sorted through the broken garage and the people who own the place kept looking out in "disgust" at us as we gawked (by us, I mean the whole street!). I think honestly they were embarassed... I would be too!

Hmmm... nothing else really.. oh I went to the dentist today.. it seems that all my good years of having great teeth has come to an end... after only ever having one cavity in my life, I am ashamed to say I am quite near double digits for cavaties now. The hygenist also said that I have a calcium problem in my gum line...something about the enamel wearing away due to not enough calcium in my diet sorta thing and it struck me as odd. I'm going to my doc about it because all my knee problems (sans the Bone Marrow Adema spot) are thought to be caused by calcium deficency. The thing is, I drink calcium fortified milk, atleast 24 oz a day, because I drink daycare milk... but my mum says I may have something that causes me not to absorb certain vitimins (we've noticed that despite the uptake in Vit. C and the likes (by suggestion of my doctor) that I am still getting sick as often as I was (which is almost weekly because of a lowered immune system)).

Regardless, my life is one big bit of boring, punctuated by the typical idiots!

Salut.

matrioshka nesting dolls

Anyone know a simple site to get a set of 5 dolls from? I want one set with 5 dolls (My family planning is me and 4 children... so 5 works, lol)

Any help would be great!

oi

Tomorrow I start teaching my four year olds to read (well, 3 of my guys from my class of 12, and 1 of D's guys from her class of 10) and I'm quite nervous. I'm going to pull them right after prayer time once D does songs or whatever.. but I KNOW that D is going to freak about going outside, so I may do like I did with the last of the cirriculum... teach them outside in the sun.. it's supposed to be 80 degrees tomorrow afternoon.

Regardless, from all you homeschooling mummsys, please enlighten me on how to teach a child to read. I bought the Dick adn Jane books simply because that's how I learned a bit to read.. but I'm dyslexic, so I honestly only read by memory and tricks.. nothing I do is phonic. I want to teach the kiddos right, but dammit, who the heck asks the dyslexic teacher to teach them to read? What sense does that make...

So we have been working heavily on phonics, we've been doing phonic games and doing phonics reads, but now it's the true test of my ability to someday be a teacher.. can I teach 4 children to read in 12 weeks... it should be interesting! (and luckily the four kids I pciked, well who really showed the most ability to do the phonics, have great parental help that I KNOW will step up and read with their kids the materials I plan out.)

My game plan at the moment is simply to copy the book I want them to read (when I say book, the Dickand Jane book I have has something like 21 stories and I plan to do a story a week to start out with and as they get better, I want to pump it up to two stories a week and so on. I know for a fact one little girl will blow past me. And as the weeks go on, I will take 4 more kiddos and start them in the bit to read, starting at week on.. but I have my little test group and it's making me nervous that I am responsible in their parents eyes to teach them... when in reality they are my test group! haha!

Seriously I'm rambling because I fear failing these kiddos and their parents. I have only been the fours teacher for a month, but in that month I feel that personally, I have made leaps and bounds in their education. I don't want to toot my own horn, but so many of hte parents have come to me, talked to me personally about their children's education.. and I've been doing plus reports for each kid going "damn... how the heck would they have been prepared for kindergarten"... but I dunno.. I'm nervous.

Anyway.. I'm sick of waiting for Jason to IM me, I suppose some things never change and he is still an ass. He's been back from idle for 20 mins, but he's yet ot reim me even though he "promised" he would. LAdies and Gents, this dear soul is EXACTLY why I swore off love and boyfriends... it sucks.

Regardless, I'm going to reread my schudle and plan for tomorrow and just pray I can teach these kiddos to read in 12 weeks!

~Hawk

Revival kids

(Last edit I promise.. I'm having to rework it since I have no Noah's Ark Video.. whee)
So tomorrow starts the Revival for the church my mum attends. Being liscensed daycare, I was offered 10 bucks an hours to teach 3 and 4 yr olds for 3-4 hours a night.. heckyeah I took it!

So this is my outline.. if anyone has any good ideas, I'm all open.

Monday, 6:30-9:30 (all times are rough.. it may end up being 6:30-11:00 depending on the outcome)

6:30-7:00
Music intro, welcome (Veggie tales CD from work I made)
7:00-7:30
Bible Story (Genesis 6:9-7:1 The story of the ark)
7:30-8:00
Workbook page (Page 12 trace the dots to form Noah's ark. on back, rainbow)
8:00-8:30
Craft (Noah's rainbow with Bible verses Genesis 9:8-17
8:30-9:00
Fruit snack (raw fruits only, probably do apples and oranges)
9:00-9:30
Game (we all be animals and someone be noah.. they have to find all the animals... a type of hide and seek)

Tuesday 6:30-9:30

6:30-7:00
Music intro, welcome (circle welcomes "can you remember my name?")
7:00-7:30
Bible Story John 6:1-15 (the fish and loaves story)
7:30-8:00
Woorkbook pg 77 & 78 (count the fish and loaves, colour by shape)
8:00-8:30
Stained glass coffee filters fish (hopefully, I'm trying it out with my kiddos at the daycare tomorrow)
8:30-9:00
Finish above craft
9:00-9:30
Game (follow the leader on proper behaviours in church)

Wednesday 6:30-9:30 (this day will probably last longer.. last night)

6:30-7:00
Music intro, welcome (veggie tales again)
7:00-7:30
Veggie tales (Shack, Rack, and Benny)
7:30-8:00
Bible Story (Daniel 3 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego)
8:00-8:30
Craft ( Craft to go with story)
8:30-9:00
Finish craft
9:00-9:30
Game (bunny song vs. new bunny song... how do I know if it's okay by God?)

Basically all times are felxible, all crafts and stories are moveable nd I have extra games and songs and videos incase we go later than 9:30/10:00.

(I am lead teacher, which I got against a much older, much more experienced teacher who is pissed about it... I find that amusing that the children's director would trust me more simply because of the class I teach.. I just don't want to let her down... and yes, this whole lesson plan was completed in an hour, as I learned that I had this position about 2 hours ago at the church dinner to welcome Pastor Rudd for the revival... dear goodness!)

Please light a candle

Dawn and Joe have been fighting for their son now, and court with the birth mother is tomorrow...

Please, if you have a moment, light a candle and say a prayer.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=SJD

Their blog, which is private, is www.quest2kaz.blogspot.com

Thanks.

Teaching four year olds to read

My new task this summer is to teach 3 of my four year girls to read. Unfortunately I only have one boy in my class, and I doubt he will be reading ready by next week when we finish our standard cirriculum.

I am going to pull one of the 3 yr old boys to read... he is technically four but hasn't been promoted up because there is no room. I may pull a second 3 boy who is reading ready, I believe, but not able to write his letters.

I have all sorts of little free cirriculums online, but I'm going with the tried and true method of Dick and Jane. I think that will be the easiest, to just set down with them and read with them. I am so excited about this.

If anyone has any helpful hints, yay for helping me out!

My kiddos::

Abs is 4, almost 5 (July) and is very ready to read. I asked her why mop is spelt MOP and she actually knew... I was excited!! She is a firey blonde who just thinks everyone is hers... "DUH!" is her key phrase. She is a cutie who just is ready to learn. I am excited to teach her and I know her nannie will make sure she reads every night to her.

Han is extremely cute! She is another firey blonde who knows everything about phonics. Her mum works with her like a true schoolers mum would. I am excited to teach her because her mum is very interesting to be around. This is also the little girl who said I hit her in the head with a "baby buggy" (whatever that be)... so for that little thing I don't care much for her sometimes, but over all I am excited to teach her more and more.

Cor is my kiddo. Her and Abs are the first graduating class of my 2s from when I first started! It is bittersweet that they are graduating this year and that I have them for graduation.... I am sad to see them go but excited to show them how much they can learn. Cor turned 5 in Feb and she is just so ready to read. She can sound out simple phonic sounds, such as MOP and CAT. I hope she is receptive to learn what more I can teach her.

I am going to try to pull my two boys from the threes to learn, Na and Za. I know I want Na personally because I believe he has Aspergers Syndrome, which is a form of Autism. He is incrediablly smart, knows more about animals then you could ever DREAM of knowing. Za, just because I want to see if he pulls dyslexia like I feel he will (he is a leftie and has a lot of problems writing his name, let alone with flipping letters and such). I do know however, that I will personally tutor him if he is dyslexic, I am dyslexic and I know how to do the tricks, I know the frustration and the likes. I hope I can help him out if he turns out to be.

I may even pull one of my two's girls to come up and read... she has amazing memorization skills and already can read the names of all the people in our class... she is amazing, but I'm not going ot push her.. the 4 year olds I'm going to push a bit because they need to learn this skill.

Regardless, any tips of the trade for working with little kids on reading, I'll accept.

to all my christian friends

Does anyone know the song by jimmie Davis Called "the Three Nails"?

It starts otu with a poem about a soldier going to buy three nails and then when the shop keeper finds out what they are for, he begs to buy them back.. then it goes into the song.

My mum and I have spent about 4 horus searching for this song... we got down to it being by Jimmie Davis.. and tha'ts as far as we got...

i can't find anything else out about it.. thoguht it is on a CD elsewhere, we only heard the speaking part and for mum to really think it's the song, it has to be the signing part.

any help would be greatly appreciated!

thanks!

Hawk

Dress in Russia

I need some BTDT parents to help me out here.

I know Russian's idea of every day dress is much much higher than American's... Mainly the no jeans and Russian's look like super models... (Or so I've been told).

I have a conviction of newly found modesty in my dress... which sadly is turning into a lot more skirts and such...

So in the streets of Moscow, do you see women wearing skirts and dresses or is it simply dress pants?

Just kinda wondering what you see on the streets from my BTDT parents I know.

Thanks!

Hawk

Blessed Good Friday

May today be a blessed Good Friday for you all.

I am taking two little boys out today. The daycare is closed and many parents haven't a clue what to do with their kids, so i offered for these two families (both of which I babysit for as well). My coteach and I are taking them out starting at 10 am... we are doing chuck e cheese, book store, donut shop... then my mum wants me to swing by her work to parade them about. They are two well behaved wonderful children.

I am horribly tired adn still need to shower before picking everyone up... yes, I was designated chauffeur because the car I drive (mums) has 4 doors... but come to think of it so does the coteacher's.. but allswell.

Anyway, I'm off to shower and get ready for the day.

Have a blessed day.

a little bit pissed

I am not Islamic, I am RLDS, but I know much because of research I did. If you have any questions, want to know anything more, please feel free to ask me. I make it a point to know everything I can about every religion I can hear about. It makes it easier to stand in my faith without being ignorant or judgemental.

a blog i read has a very interesting pic of Pope John Paul II kissing a Quran (to which she even mispelled). What pisses me off is her comments about how Allah is a moon god, blah blah blah.. and some comments there about how Islam is NOT a peaceful religion.. and it makes me wonder if these people even know what they are talking about.

A few facts about Islam (and this is from a person who was very close to converting, but opted against it aftr 9-11 for chicken reasons (namely I didn't want to be singled out)).

There are 5 pillars to Islam:

Testimony of faith (Kalima)
Basically you can do this peacefully at home, with no witnesses but Allah. You sit down, state your intentions, state that there is no other higher power but Allah (who Christians' call God) and that Mohammad is his ony messenger (the Christian references is that Jesus is the Son of God, Mohammad is the Jesus of Islam, just not a son, a mere prophet)

Prayer (Salat)
"Seek Allah's help with patient perseverance and prayer. It is indeed hard except for those who are humble."
(2:45)

Formal prayers:
Fajr (pre-dawn): The before sunrise prayer that is done in rememberence of God.

Dhuhr (noon): A break in the work day to seek God and his guidence.

'Asr (afternoon): While trying to take care of the kids, wrap up the work day, this prayer is to stop a moment and just ask God for wisdom.

Maghrib (sunset): A closing of the day prayer, just to remember God.

'Isha (evening): a prayer to remember God's presence, guidance, mercy, and forgiveness.

Fasting (Sawm)

Raamadan is the month that is spent fasting during the day. THe point of the fast is much like Catholic LENT. It is time spent praying and honouring God. Not only is Raamandan for food fasting, but also it is a time to fast from unholy things and reevaluate your Islamic commitment.

Almsgiving (Zakat)
Charity giving. Basically it is like giving tithes in a Church, yet for the Islamic, it is more than that. They must give it to the poor, their income, their time. It is important to pay alms to those who cannot help themselves.

Pilgrimage (Hajj)
Here I am, Oh God, at Your command!
Here I am at Your command!
You are without associate!
Here I am at Your command!
To You are all praise, grace and dominion!
You are without associate!

A pilgrimage to Mecca, Saudi Arabia is very important to complete the life, though it is not REQUIRED to enter heaven. It is important to remember the suffering of those around you, the walk Mohammad made to mecca. Many make it in their bare feet, much like it would have been done in Mohammad's time. It is said to bring one the closest spirtually with Allah because of the sacrifice made to ones body to make the trip.

Basically I just want people to understand Islam is about finding adn seeking God, not killing anyone. The link below is a link that shows how much more violence Christians have caused than Musleims. Does that make them worse or better? No. Simply put it is just a different way to worship.

http://www.islam101.com/terror/christianViolence.htm

And I leave you with words of Islamic Wisdom:

"It is not righteousness that you turn your faces towards East or West.
But it is righteousness to believe in Allah and the Last Day,
And the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers;
To spend of your substance, out of love for Him,
For your kin, for orphans, for the needy,
for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves;
To be steadfast in prayer
And give in charity;
To fulfill the contracts which you have made;
And to be firm and patient, in pain and adversity
And throughout all periods of panic.
Such are the people of truth, the God-fearing.
Qur'an 2:177

LMAO!

I am reading back bits on other adoption blogs. This particular one had a hilarious post, reposted here.

Airline Mechanics with a Sense of HumorJust in case you need a laugh:

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripesheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on theform, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas'pilots(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, hadan accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Maybe I'm slap happy at 1 am with only 6 hours of sleep the whole week under my belt but I cannot stop laughing.

stupid family

My aunt is starting her "why should she adopt, is she not proud of her heritage enough to produce babies?" speeches.

She called me mum and started grilling her on how she would "allow" me to do such a hideous thing like adopt... especially when I am fertile...

I am trying to figure out some witty things to come back to her on about it all. Right now it's the typical retort of "why would I want to pass on genes that created you?" but that just causes malice.

*sigh* stupid family.

woo

I have the pre-k until further notice. Which makes me sad and happy at the same time. I have gone through all the old cirriculum and all teh stuff the last teacher used... This poor class has had 2 standard teachers and 2 float teachers in about 6 months time. I am consider one of the float teachers with Ms. G. Regardless, G won't do lesson plans, so while I am getting plans together for my 2's, I am now responsible for the prek lessons.. and those are much more important. I guess B will have to take over the bulk of lesson planning with our guys...

I hope the boss has someone hired before too too long. I don't wnt ot spend another summer outside my kiddos (I've been there 3 summers, almost 4, and have only spent one summer with my actual kids.) I also need to sit down and get our mother's days books together. That is our HUGE project, and it's rather large. The kids pick out their fave foam colours and we put togheter a booklet with poems (one I wrote, I'm rather proud of that!) and pictures of the kids. All topped off with their handprints on the back. It's adorable... and expected! lol. The boss loves when we hand those out because she gets parents who come to her crying with joy for how happy they are, which makes her daycare look good.

So anyways, time to leave for wednesday night class... I don't want to go, but it's almost over! Then we are starting a new Beth Moore study, but an actual book this time, not a workbook. I do not like this particular study, as I don't feel I am getting anything out of it. Regardless, I need to head out.

Later,

Hawk!

ugh v.v

I'm cranky, it's okay.

I really wish people would let us know before they go private... and longer than an hour... some people do work.

I have been reading a blog for quite some time, the quest2kaz one... and now it's suddenly private... and that happened some time today, and I'm sad about it. I don't know those people, so i know no way to contacting them to say "hey, I have been reading your blog and I really am interested in your story, add me?" but it's like.. wow.

I know people have reasons for going private. I do read one private blog and the mother was nice enough to allow me to read it, but she has a damn good reason to go private.. and I'm sure everyone who does does, but I hate when blogs I enjoy to read go private.

Okay that was my rant. I'm better now.

Work today was tiring. We had a teacher fired, which it was about time. If she yelled at the kids ot "Shut up" one more time, I was gunna go off on her. She taught the pre-k, four year olds, and she was constantly yelling at them, psyically moving them around without cause and even slapped one. That was the last straw that got her fired, with her hitting a child on the mouth. I think we all would have quit had she not been fired.

Regardless, I think I am going to have to class starting tomorrow, which will leave B in our class alone... 10 two's all day by herself. We've both done it before, but neither of us like it too much. Hopefully the boss will have someone hired before monday.. as monday we have a class switch and we gain a kid in our room, as well as lose a kid, and I doubt B will be able to handle this newbie on her own.. shi.. I couldn't handle this newbie on my own. This boy... is 2 as of tomorrow, and he has no fine motor skills, doesn't talk except to say "ball" and is a holy terror. His mum keeps saying "I can't wait till he's in your (my) class so he will start talking and going to the toliet"... it's like woman, that doesn't magically happen! You have to WORK with your children outside of their 10 hours at daycare... Yes we teach them loads of stuff (I have a 2.5 yr old who can read and an almost 3 yr old who can write without assistance and can identify all the letters while writing them) but we don't do all the work. We do rely on the parents.

I am extremely tired with all that's goin on at work. Spring graduation is coming close adn I still haven't finished the videos... I've got mother's day books to get going and I still have to find out what to do about little A.. she has no mum (in jail for murdering her sister, oddly enough) and it's just really stressing me the poo out. Also there is strep and a nasty stomach virus going about.

Oh and I still haven't filed my taxes... I've got less than a month to file... and I haven't the time (nor the money to pay anyone to do it)... my head hurts, lol.

Like I said at the start of this post, I'm cranky.. and when I'm cranky I get complainy... tomorrow we'll be back to our regularly scheduled happy blog. :)

Off to take my last antibiotic pill and then to bed... woo!

so effin sick

I'm quite tired of people with the Angelina Jolie thing. Yes, she did just adopt another child, Pax, and yes, she didn't have it in the media for very long, but guess what, that doesn't mean she went any way against the law. Angelina is very blunt about being on this side of the adoption laws. She works hard for Adoption rights, starts funds in her children's birth countries in their name, and constantly researches and finds the right children. So what if it doesn't take her 10 years to adopt. Sometimes all it takes is 6 months. Don't forget she hasn't got to take the time to riase funds, don't forget she doesn't have to take the time on other things that we do.

She waits just like we do, she's not Madonna.

Just chill on her okay? Geez.

CWA Recommended Resources for Adoptive Parents

Attacing in Adoption Deborah Gray
Adoption Parentings Edited by Jean MacLeod and Sheena Macrae, PHD
I Wish for You A Beautiful Life Edited by Dorow
Growing up Adopted Rosenberg
Are Those Kids Yours? Cheri Register
Loved by Choice Horner and Martindale
The Whole Life Adoption Book Jayne Schooler
Telling The Truth to your Adopted or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past Betsy Keefer and Jayne Schooler
Toddler Adoption: The Waver's Craft Mary Hopkins-Best
Insies Transracial Adoption Steinberg and Hall
20 Things Adopted Children Wished Their Adopted Parens Knew Sherrie Eldridge
Adopting the Hurt Child and Parenting the Hurt Child Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky
How to Really Love Your Child Dr. Ross Campbell
The Out-Of-Sync Child Carol Stock Kranowitz
After the Dream Comes True Michelle Gardner
Adoption as a Ministry Michelle Gardner

Books For Cildren
How I was Adopted Joanna Cole
We're Different; We're the Same Bobbi Kates (Sesame Street)
Shaoey and Dot Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman
I Love You Like Crazy Cakes Rose Lewis

Websites
www.adoption.com
www.adoptionlearningpartners.org
www.childtraumaacademy.com/amazing_brain , Bruce Perry, M.D, Ph.D.
www.adoptionarticlesdirectory.com/Article/Activies-to-Promote-Healthy-Development/11

CWA meeting

so it's almost 10p and I think I can finally have a moment to breathe to post. My mum's been on a huge cleaning thing tonight... ugh.

Anyways. It ended up only being me at the seminar. The other families did not show up, nor did the single mum who adopted from Russia a few years ago. She was having heart issues and was going to the hospital (valid reason if I ever heard one! lol).

The seminar was basically just going over what is an adoption, how does international differ from domestic, what can be expected in wait terms. Then she went over the different countries and I learned that in initial information she gave me about only having to be 23 for Russia was incorrect. You do have to be 25 if you are single. In the Ukraine however, you only have to be 23. The only problem I see with Ukraine is the children are much much older. 14 months and up at age of referral. Where as in russian 8 months and up is referral age. I don't know if I feel okay adopting that much of an older kid when it may be up to 8 months before I get him home. 22 months is well on their way to being content in their routine and the likes...I dunno.. something to think about.

I also like the looks of their Kyrgyzstan program for age of children as well, but I know NO ONE, in blog land or IRL, who has adopted from Kryg. In Kyrg you can get a refferal for a child as young as 3 months... and it estimates that it will take only up to a year to adopt and it s a one trip of about 10 days to complete.

Mrs. Roll did inform me that they have ALWAYS had teh waiting period dys waived for all thir families. That includes the Russian 10 day wait and the Ukraine 10-30 days wait. They have ALWAYS had it waived... which makes me excited to use them.

She did go on about the Ethiopia adoption programme. It's new, the cheapest, and as long as you are a professing and practicing Christian, it will take little to no time at all.

Kazakhstan is the thier most expensive adoption... and it goes down until their Ethiopian adoptions, being around 16000.

They gave a list of books which I'll type up in my next post (in about a min).

All in all it was an okay seminar. I would have liked it better to have not been the only person there. I really wanted to hear what other families asked about everything. I just didn't know the questions to ask... I know most everything about he process and I really just wanted someone who didn't know so much to ask all the questions.

Krisanne and Jeff were really cool. They explained their adoption and they made the seminar seem very home type. There was no need for dressing up or sitting up straight. It was very laidback and informal. Made it feel like the get together of a few friends instead of a seminar about adoption.

Anyway, all in all it was good. I may contact the Rolls and see if I can attend the one in may at the same place and hopefully have a few more families show up. I am genuinly in like of this agency. They seem awesome.

welp

well today is the seminar. In about an hour I'll be leavin for it and oddly I'm rather nervous...

I'm printing the directions to the place right now, which seems damn near impossible to find. I just hope it all works out. The lady who is hosting it said that there is about 2 other families coming as of monday, so I really hope they both show up so I'm not there alone... that would be awkward!

So anyway, step one, choose an agency.

When you thought I wasn't looking

"When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that little things can be the special things in life.

When you though I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me good night and I felt loved and safe.

When you though I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grew up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I needed to know to be good and productive person when I grew up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'"

Another cute thing I found... another good thing to remember.

March, what?

It's march, what?

In less than a week I have my first meeting with CWA, I'm actually quite nervous.

17th is coming to fast, yet not fast enough. I truely just hope thye are as sweet as everyone makes them out to be...

I don't have much else to write about, sadly.

something my mum sent me

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER"

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14 . My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU" !!!

Baby Wearing

So researching bringing home children I've run across several different ideas on this.

I am pretty much going at this alone. Unless I magically gain a best friend or whatnot, I doubt anyone will be going to Russia with me to meet and bring home my children. I have been looking into baby wearers for some time now, as I feel that is a good way to carry a child and be hands-on elsewhere.

I ask your opinion, those of you who have used such, on which is the best.

Moby Wrap
Hip Hammock
Mei Tei
Podaegi
Ring sling

Any insight into personal experiences would be great.

Thanks.

fun things for babies

I have been looking at clothing for toddlers (actually looking for something cute to send my SBP) and ran across something I found adorable... and sadly my children will probably live in them...
BabyLegs

Adorable!!!
I'm particularly fond of the purple stripes! Isn't that patter adorable?

Below is a picture of a baby wearing the BabyLegs...

Birthday 2007

So another year older, another year down.

21 brought many changes. I was able to legally drink, I was made power of attorney in my mum's will, and my brothers gave me 3 shot glasses for my collection.

Now 22 will bring the begining of the adoption journey... ahh how we grow.

Anyway, I meant to write a more introspective post, but I'm so tired I think I shall go to bed.

Chuck E Cheese

So in my goal to be very prepared I spend a lot of time with children (when you work in a daycare, it's hard not to). On monday of this past week I took two little boys to chuck e cheese... what a trip! Normally I take only C, as he was a foster kid and became really attached to me... so I wanted to spend a lot of time with him, hoping it would help his behaviour (it really hasn't...). Well I decided to try my hand at two kids. Now mind you, asking parents to borrow their kids makes me feel like a pedofile. I'm not going to HARM the children, but I just feel weird going up and being like "hey, can I borrow your kid for the afternoon?" it just seems weird to me!
Anyways! I asked Z's da if I could take him with me... he said yes and so my day was set with 2 3 yr old boys. Both of them 3.5 if you want to be technical. I left work with both boys, and that is where the fun began. Now in my class I have 10 two year olds. On alternating days I'm lefta lone with them while B goes to school. 10 twos is a cake walk compared to these two rambunctious boys!
We made it to the cheese about 6 and ordered our pizza and got our tokens. We were having LOADS of fun before pizza came. They both were listening, they were playing well together. We ate our pizza (2 piece minimum for theboys to get their second half of tokens) and suddenly, they changed! I don't know if it was the fully tummy's or the fact that they both felt brave suddenly... but it was impossible to keep them together. We ended up playing LOADS of rounds of skee ball (my personal fave) and they played a game where you have to push a button to shoot out a little basketball into one of the hoops. We had soooo much fun, but they were EVERYWHERE!
Afterwards we went up to get our tickets redeemed and they had some rediculous amount (like 125.. when just with C we are lucky to average 50). Well the counter scene was quite interesting. This lady just cuts infront of 4 families and starts shouting off how the Cheese is racist, and how no matter how long they wait no one will help them... makes me wanna smack her really. She was in line behind us, but suddenly wanted to be at the front of the line for no apparent reason. Z got scared and had me hold him, which was no big deal, and he kept asking "why is that lady yelling?" and kept telling me to tell her to use her indoor (indoor voices, a BIG concept at the daycare when the kids yell and scream). Needless to say I just let her go infront of us. I was almost scared of her.
The boys got exactly what they wanted (the "dane" (plane) and the "speaker" (Microphone)) and some tattoos.. then I coroalled them into the car.. which was a joy as usual. I got them both home a little late, but I have the trust of their parents and explained very plainly that the Cheese was a mad house, we had to wait for everything and that the drive home was littered with idiotic people who don't understand I have two kids in my car. Z's mum said she was a bit nervous but trusted me, and I promised her that next time I'd call at 7:30 and give her an update. C's mum couldn't care less. Long as he's home before 9 she is okay. She trusts me like no one ever has before... and I can only hope with my kids, I have someone to trust like that.

Moral of the story, I think I am doing the right thing by adopting two boys together, hopefully twins. Two was much better than one, for me, and I just feel the calling that it is right.

Now I have 5 mins to finish getting ready for church and to head off to the service. Have a great sunday!

Learning Russian

So I speak Russian some, and now I speak it more!

I have been using byki.com free software. It has some for everything from animals, colours and even nifty hotel phrases. It's simple, easy to use and honestly is one of the better programmes I've run across.

I seriously recommend everyone who wants to learn Russian or any of 26 languages to give it a go. Really easy to use, really easy to understand and even has a "turtle" pronunciation for those who need words slowed downt o understand them.

Awesome programme

random things

After 5 months on blogger I added a photo. I'm not brave enough to post a picture of me, so whatelse should I have one of but a Hawk. Not only a hawk, but a Red Tail hawk in flight. This encompases the long flight home (the newish title of my journal). It just felt right, hah!

I'm going crazy trying to get all the photo's for the kiddos graduation video at the daycare. It's amazing to try to think of things and cute little poses they make that add cuteness to the video's. I also need to send that Abs pic to D... I took a cute photo in black and white of Abs and need to send it so she can use it in the video. If it doesn't make it, I'll cry. I love this pic!

I need to find it first... hm....

Anyway. So much is going on lately my head is spinning. We may be losing one of our kiddos to the 3s class, and that makes me sad. But as I've told everyone who will listen, I will NOT take her out of the video's I've spent a month or so on. She will just graduate as part of the twos class!

My birthday is in a few days and I'm not looking foreward to it. Only good part of getting another year older is that i'm another year closer to bringing home my children. Oh the joys.

I am off on the second of March from work, I am SO excited! I need a good day off.

Now off to find that pic of Abs and send it over to D so it makes it... I hope!

Later,
Hawk

Hopechest

Toys Won't Have
Toy guns
toy knives
Toy war insturments all alike
Camoflage
Loads of plastic toys
Elmo


Toys Will Have
Wooden toys
russian blocks
Wooden Toys
imagination builders
leap frog learning systems
Books galore
Wiggles Dance pad
Signing Time

Things needed for small children

So my mum and I are starting a hope chest for the children. I am looking into things needed for children, but I can't find a website with such information.

I know, it sounds silly.. but I don't want to forget something while my mum is willing to help me pay for them! lol. I know simple things, such as furniture, car seats, clothing, toys.. but is there anything that you just didn't think your child would need?

Thanks.

Recipes

so I'm feeling very... homemaker-ish... and wish to cook more (plus I need to lose weight, and all in all want to spend less on fast food).

I have no recipes except for 3 desserts that I adore...

So... Again I ask for suggestions... you people seem very good at knowing the right things. lol.

(FYI I don't eat red meat, I live off chicken and noodles)

Anyways, anyone care to share a fave recipe? You can email me too.. I'm just up for a new thing.. something I haven't tried... and chicken quesidillas just ain't gunna cut it again. :)

Thank You!!

Thank you SBP!!!! I LOVE the frame and the poem about made me cry!

I love it!!!!!!!

2007 Book list Classical List

This will be added to as Beth reads her books and suggests them. (Modern Books, such as Orwell and the Potter series, will be posted later when I can sit down and get them organized as such.)

Separated by country (IE, British, American, etc.). All Edgar Allan Poe books are repeats, I've read everything by him (even own the big ass Poe complete works book) and just throw those in there because I adore his stuff.

That said.. the Classical list. Feel free to make suggestions... I'm open for anything with a good plot line.

British

Charles Dickens

Oliver Twist

A Tale of Two Cities

Great Expectations

The Life and Adventures of Nicholas Nickleby

Jane Austen

Emma

Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Zanoni

The Disowned

Lewis Carroll

Through the Looking Glass

Robert Louis Stevenson

The Strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Treasure Island

American

Edgar Allan Poe

The Cast of Amontillado

Landor’s Cottage

The Tell-tale Heart

Mark Twain

The Adventure of Tom Sawyer

Those Extraordinary Twins

The Prince and the Pauper

Irish

Bram Stoker

The Jewel of Seven Stars

The Lady of the Shroud

Scottish

Sir James Barrie

The Admirable Crichton

Auld Licht Idyls

Adoption Ramblings

So I sit here doing a bit more research on everything, and realize that my first meeting with CWA is within a month away... okay so a bit over a month, but still within thinking distance. Mar 15, that's the go date.

I'm nervous... very nervous. I hate going to things alone, but I know no one is going to go with me. My mum refuses the whole progress and just says that she will "sit back" and wait to see if I "go through with this". I just need to step outside myself and realize this is my children I am thinking about... nothing I wouldn't do for them (even now, before they are born).

I've been keeping up with the CWA reaccrediation.. they aren't yet... but according to their site they have submitted on the 9th of Jan.

I can't wait for the summer months... I have SO much stuff for my first garage sale of the season.. first warm day in March... Then I think I can convince the church my mum attends to allow me a yardsale on their property and I think I can convince my home church to allow just the same. Though my home church may be harder... I must start going there again full time... ugh. As much as I love my church... compared to the penecostal church I've been going with my mum... it's going to be slow paced... but its' only an hour long, VS the nearly 2 hours my mum's church is.

Regardless, I've got loads of fundraising ideas, including car washes, yard sales, magazine sales and homemade candle sales.... I'm excited.

I'M EXCITED!

Birthday Musings

So my birthday is comming up at the end of the month. I resolved LAST year to have my own apartment by the time I turned 22... well guess what? I'M POOR!

I know, I know, apartments are not as expensive in my city as they are other places... but damn, I never realized how little I was making until I looked into getting one of my own.

The cheapest I can find is 500 a month... I barely make 800 a month... and during school... HAH!

Allwell... by 22.5, I will have my own apartment!

lol.

*pulls out hair*

so, I'm going crazy.

I vow right now to NOT be a daycare annoyed parent. I'm all for putting my children in daycare after we have bonded (A huge part of adoption) but I swear I will not be one of those parents who thinks every teacher is a pedofile and ever scratch was caused with Malicious harm.

Children fall and go boom. We as teachers try to teach the kids to just getu p, asses the damage and move on if it's not too bad. We do NOT stop whatever we are doing for every single bump on the floor. I teach twos for heavens sake. They are CLUMSY at two. Children by NATURE are clumsy, most of the time coinciding with a growth spurt! It's not my fault your kids likes to fall down!

I got 20 questions this morning from a parent who saw that I did not run immediately to the aide of a fallen 2 year old. This girl has GIANTS for parents, so she is constantly in a growth spurt to keep up with her family size. She's two and already taller than some of the 4 yr olds. She, and we, are very used to her falling. This morning she bit the big one, fell over her own feet and landed hard on the tile. She whimpered a little, and I was watching her to aide if I needed too. She merely whimpered a second, got up, raised her pant leg, looked at her knee, saw no blood or scrape, "dusted" it off and went about playing. She was limping a bit, but she hit HARD on the floor. I settled back into playing with a younger two who needs a lot of one on one interaction, thinking nothing more of it. Had she cried, had she come over to me complaining of pain, I'd have "kissed" the boo boo away and made sure she was okay. But as a rule in our room, she abided by the no whining. I was actually VERY proud of her (these are steps we have been working hard on her with for almost a year now). This mother, who's child this wasn't, came charging over to me, demanding me to explain to her why I was so lazy, how I could let a child "cry out" with no coddling. I was dumbtruck. I explained that we teach the children to asses their own hurts, and if they feel they need our attention, of course we will give it to them. We aren't cold hearted bitches, after all. She was all demanding in my face about how I need to make sure the girl was alright, so I hollered across "Huckle, you okay?" (Huckle is the girls parent given nickname). She replied with a giggle "uhuh!" and went back to her dishes. Well this wasn't good enough for this parent. She went over and tried to coddle the non screaming, non hurting child. Well ofcourse huckle bucked up to her, pushed her away, she didn't know this woman. Well that concluded to this psychotic mother that we weren't showing the kids enough love. It's like, h ello lady, I am with these childrne 9+ hours a day, don't TELL me I'm not showing a child enough love when they get free hugs and kisses (on the cheek or forehead) whenever they want... but we don't FORCE them to take the affection... that is their personal right to refuse it.

Regardless, this woman in a matter of two hours had toldmy supervisor, told all the teachers, that B and I were HORRIBLE teachers to the children, and promptly pulled her child from the daycare. Good Riddence is all I can say.

Needless to say, I'm home on break (trying to get PT figured out for my knee finally) and I'm STILL cranky about this morning. Makes me wanna smack people.

So yeah, my days been pretty dang crappy so far... our children are INSANE! EVERYONE, children, teachers and parents alike, are in whiney moods... and we just... ugh!

Time to call a few more PT places and see if they have any openings.

Adieu

Class Videos

So I am working on the videos for the daycare graduation (I must start now, or I never finish). I am working on the twos class (my class) and want to make it special. I am already using Taylor Hicks' "Do I Make You Proud" and I need a second song that is slower and I can use more.. artistic pictures of the children individually throughout.

I am listening to several opera type songs, such has Josh Groban and Charlotte Church, but I am not having much luck finding anything that I think the parents will sit through and shows meaning. The couple I want to use are not in English, so that knocks them out (we have paranoid parents who will think the song is saying horrible things about them.. annoying really).

Anyway, I get few comments here, but if you would please be so kind as to take a second to comment with songs you think speak volumes and are children centered (but not only about children.. songs will go meanings too).. it'd be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Hawk

blogger names

So boredom got me thinking about "blogger" names for my future children. I decided that since I'm hawk, I will stick with birds of prey for my children.

The first two children I bring home, my first goal ofcourse, will be forever known as Kestrel and Falcon.

Yes this is what boredom has done to me. I'm off my feet until they can fix my knee. I have bone marrow adema.. which is basically fluid in the bone marrow.. so now I sit on my bum praying they don't have to do surgery.

So now I get to obsess over adoption, starting a family, and finding a good apartment. My cousin screamed at me they won't do a homestudy on an apartment.. for it defeats the whole purpose, but I know many people hwo have lived in apartment.. or people in NYC would never be able to adopt.... But alas, I'm writting that down as one of my questions to ask at the CWA meeting.

I have had no luck on the apartment hunt. I just don't make enough right now... but my goal is to be debt free this year, so I can start adopting without already being in debt... as I'm sure I will be afterwards. But eventually I will find a nice sized apartment within my price range.

Now off to shower and do my Beth Moore study. I will post how that study is going later.

Congrats to all those who have court dates and are heading over to Russia to pick up their children.