boredom

Lunch breaks are horrible when you do them alone. I mean, I have several blogs in my friended sections, I have several favourite places that range from boredom reads to blogs I enjoy reading just to get angry about to prove to myself I have more a soul than they do (it's a shortcomming of mine, I deal with it!)

but sitting here right now, I realize I'm horribly bored. I have taken my book, in the last few days, from 20K to 80K... and sadly I'd win nano if I felt okay about submitting my books pages I've written... but alas, I don't! Damn my morals.

I have 10 mins left on my lunch break and I'm bored enough that I'm going to set out and get a milkshake... I want one. I seriously do.

Today at home is going ot be busy. I have to pack when I get home (cause i got lazy last ngiht and decided to sleep), then run over to teh party store, then head out and hopefully make it to EJ's before 730pm. that way we can go out ot eat and then come home, crash and drink.

I am making supper tomorrow night for us. Chicken covered in soup, baked, with baked potatos and soem type of fruit.. I'm hoping ot convince him to get a fruit medely... but I suppose I'll figure it out after I get there. I'm excited ot be all "homey" with him.. it feels right.

Last night he asked me if this turned in to a long term relationship what kind of wedding I'd want... this is the second time he's mentioned weddings nad marrying me... makes me nerovus so much. But I told him I'd just want something siple and would be content to go to the clerks office and get married that way... I mean, shit neither one of my parents invited me to their marriages why should I feel obligated to invite them? I don't. (childhood trauma 101).

anyway, if I'm getting a shake, I gotta go. 7 mins left.. adn it'll take me that long ot drive to DQ and order... yay for being late I suppose!

Later!

~hawk

frustrated

Today was frustrating. Work is misserable. I'm seriously considering a new job all because of one of my fellow employees. She feels that since she's been there longer, the world revlolves around her. She enjoys making decisions for me, enjoys tattle telling on me, and stupid shit like that. It's become fun to see who can piss the other one off more.

That said, I couldn't quit my job, I love it so.

I go up to visit EJ this weekend, I'm so excited. I'm buying a bottle of everclear vodka and a pack of Guiness and once up there we are shopping for food for hte weekend as well as some sprite and Cranberry juice... I am going to make Claydoughs all weekend (1 shooter of everclear, half a tumbler of cranberry, half a tumbler of sprite... omg, first real mixed drink I had at college, best I ever tasted!) but I'm also a bit poor this weekend, flying with only 30 bucks to get booze and food.. However, I may get a less strong Vodka just so i can do mt. Dew shooters... (which you can't do with 190 proof vodka... 90% ethanol, 10% water.. talk about "feeling the burn".. woo)

Yes, I'm getting drunk this weekend because life is falling apart around me. Mum is crazy, work is crazy, relationship is crazy, and really, I don't care much. I'm going to be at a safe place in a city with several contacts (two of those being my brothers who don't drink anymore), as well as being in a known area for drinking and being with someone I trust (atleast with monitoring my alcohol). He knows I'm planning drunkenness, as he's getting merely guiness for him so he can be my "watcher". I'm going to enjoy my weekend.

That said, I still have one more day at work, and I must remember that it's a bad idea to talk too much tomorrow for pissing off the teacher only means more horrible things for me come monday...

Now I go to bed with my sullen self and pray away my time tomorrow at work... Then pray for a LONG weekend that doesn't seem like it's flying away... yes, that would be best.

Goodnight all.

Frustrated

I got my first "offical" write up at work today... apparently a parent thinks I am not paying enough attention to their child so they sat there adn chumped up charges against me so that my boss had to write me up to shut that woman up.. needless to say I'm done dealing with her son all together (and I actually liked the kid.. blah). Parents don't understand this... if you go straight to the boss, your kid does not become our favourite.. we would never do anything to harm teh child or neglect him, but we don't interact on teh same level... If you have a problem with your daycare teachers, go to them first.. and then if you meet resistance, then go to the boss.. but going over their heads just.. pisses them off.

I'm really frustrated because during my write up I started crying. I'm already having a horrible week (it's the week before father's day and this is my 10th father's day since my da just up and left my mum, my brothers and myself) and I'm PMSing really bad this week already... and it's like.. UGH! The only good thing is we are a small daycare (11 staff members totall.. something like 50 kids) and I know the boss from church personally... so I didn't feel so stupid... it was just that no matter what it felt personal. I understand now it wasn't, but it's like.. damn it! lol. So now I have my first official reprimand in my folder in 3 years... I guess that's okay.

My brother is coming to pick up his car tomorow sometime with his girlfriend. I'm sad to lose his car! I have enjoyed haivng "my own" car this week. Granted mum's in Texas, so I have her car and my step father's car, but still. Starting next week I have to go back to sharing with mum. Blah. All well I suppose it could be worse.. I could have to take the bus!

My mum flies back in on sunday. I'm not excited about the return of king kong (or my step father... whichever!) but I am excited for my mum to be back around.

Doug and Kim on the radio read my "love on your kids friday" today. I was amazing and quite giddy (amazing my day started out so good). IF you don't know who D&K are, they are local radio hosts on the Christian radio station round here and tey do a cool thing on friday where parents can write or call and "love on their kids". And so I sent an email just saying that my kids are waiting for my in Russian and that even though they are so far away I still want to love on them.. and they read it.. sweet!

Anyway I'm excited at the buzzing on Frus.. and now I'm signing off to go shower and sleep!