Happy Holidays

So I've become more and more secretive about this blog. If you don't knwo me in real life, you have this blog.. if you do... you don't.. what a fun sentence.

I have been reading a couple blogs lately that put's that anon feeling in danger, yet I can't stop reading these blogs. They are some blogs that pertain to the center I work out.. about 6 of them.. and it's amusing to me.

I love getting inside my parents heads... I've been so disappointed lately with them. I work at a center and teach a class of older children. And it's so sad to me seeing as I had most of these kids in the youngers class a couple years ago, and to have them now and see how horrible these parents have become! The children too, I should add.

I hate this time fo the year, as the parents expect SO much from the staff. We've stopped all lessons in my room and are merely riding on a little break. Well apparently that means that it is time to start the Christmas projects adn the fact that I didn't have a single project go home my parents complained. It's not my fault that I am dealing with a classroom of unruly children where I get NO HELP.

And I have to deal with the other teacher in the room. She told me earlier on in the year when I was asking about a video that I couldn't do the video, she would, simply because I'd play favourites with some children... YET.. and a BIG YET here...

She bought xmas gifts for all her kids... AND then she went out and bought special things for 3 boys and then 2 littles... 2 of those 3 boys were who I was accused of playing favourites with. I find that so fucking amusing and annoying at the same time. Not only was I so poor this season that I had to go to teh dollar store, she just HAD to show me up by getting them exactly what they asked me for. It's so fucking annoying to see that.

I'm particularly cranky tonight, I may edit this post later when I'm not so pissed. I just.. the woman has good intentions I think.. but annoys the shit outta everyone till they give in. ANd get this, she thinks she's an author because she's got a book "deal" with a self publisher... I find that all the more ammusing... seeing as if she sent the book for a real publisher they'd laugh her outta the water!

Regardless, I'm feelign very insulty tonight, so I'm gunna stop the post here... I just REALLY needed to get out this frustration... which runs so deep that some day I'll sit down and really list out the shit going on at the centre I work at... someday.

Oh other things in life...

EJ is heading home for Xmas and new years... whic makes me sad. He chose to party with friends in his college home instead of spending our first new years together... and with already being emotional for many reasons, that was just a slap in teh face. But ofcourse I dont' tell him that... no need to be clingy. So now I'm sitting here being bitchy, hence the first half of the post... but I did get in a great bath tonight... Soaked then showered to get all teh mucky stuff off... and I feel so.. clean. lol. Generally I run 15 min showers so I can talk to EJ.. who knew.

I ahve the last bit of xmas shoppign to do tomorrow. I gotta go get my brother something from a particular store that is the only place in town that carries this one thing... which makes me sad. CAuse I know it's gunna be expensive. Makes me sad to be poor.

As for life in general... its' been a hard week. Nothing seems to be going right.. it was so pitiful at nap today at the centre I merely sat there adn laughed my head off simply because if I didn't I'd cry. I really do not like this time of year... people get their emotions hurt too much, or you expect something that never comes... or stupid things like that. So generally I keep my expectations low and all that shit.. and sadly it's hit even lower than my expectations were... and they were pretty low... though I did end up with 50 bucks in starbucks gift cards... when all else fails... Chai Tea... yum.

Now I'm finally going ot get some sleep.. as I gotta wrestle with all the other late time shoppers tomorrow who are just now getting out. Hopefully the xway will be clear enough that it won't be horrible to morning commute out there. Who knows.

Anyways,

HAPPY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY HOLIDAY! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!

frustrated

Today was frustrating. Work is misserable. I'm seriously considering a new job all because of one of my fellow employees. She feels that since she's been there longer, the world revlolves around her. She enjoys making decisions for me, enjoys tattle telling on me, and stupid shit like that. It's become fun to see who can piss the other one off more.

That said, I couldn't quit my job, I love it so.

I go up to visit EJ this weekend, I'm so excited. I'm buying a bottle of everclear vodka and a pack of Guiness and once up there we are shopping for food for hte weekend as well as some sprite and Cranberry juice... I am going to make Claydoughs all weekend (1 shooter of everclear, half a tumbler of cranberry, half a tumbler of sprite... omg, first real mixed drink I had at college, best I ever tasted!) but I'm also a bit poor this weekend, flying with only 30 bucks to get booze and food.. However, I may get a less strong Vodka just so i can do mt. Dew shooters... (which you can't do with 190 proof vodka... 90% ethanol, 10% water.. talk about "feeling the burn".. woo)

Yes, I'm getting drunk this weekend because life is falling apart around me. Mum is crazy, work is crazy, relationship is crazy, and really, I don't care much. I'm going to be at a safe place in a city with several contacts (two of those being my brothers who don't drink anymore), as well as being in a known area for drinking and being with someone I trust (atleast with monitoring my alcohol). He knows I'm planning drunkenness, as he's getting merely guiness for him so he can be my "watcher". I'm going to enjoy my weekend.

That said, I still have one more day at work, and I must remember that it's a bad idea to talk too much tomorrow for pissing off the teacher only means more horrible things for me come monday...

Now I go to bed with my sullen self and pray away my time tomorrow at work... Then pray for a LONG weekend that doesn't seem like it's flying away... yes, that would be best.

Goodnight all.

Why I hate clowns, and other musings of a tired mind

So that picture shows you the calander page of mine for the month of May. now the whole reason I got this calender (co-edikit, who I oddly have several amusing shirts from) was this month. I am DEATHLY afraid of clowns.. yes at 22 years old that is hard to state outloud. I suppose it's not so much a fear as it is a DEATHLY large distaste of them now. Why you may ask, would someone be afraid of innocent little clowns?... I'll tell you... Barnum and Baily Circus. My poor children will never go to a B&B Circus tour if I can help it! The clowns on large stilts... they just... scare me! And one walked right next to me, as we were near the front row, and I just freaked out... since then, whenever I have a particularly terrible nightmare, it somehow involves a clown. Yes, it's stupid, I can recieve psychological help for this, but the fact still remains that clowns and I don't mix, even to this day!

As for other musings...

My cousin is pregnant again. She just... ugh. Perhaps I'm starting to feel something for this whole "I'm never getting pregnant" attitude... or perhaps I just want to start a family so bad... but hearing that she is pregnant, while I'm happy for her, makes me want to strangle her at the same time. Now don't get me wrong. I have genuine love and happiness that she is expecting her second child. They have had a much harder time concieving this time than they did with Bella. (Bella was an opps a year before their wedding.) Regardless, I just... want to be her, and that's odd. Perhaps after I get the ball rolling on my adoption (someday) I won't have the feeling of wanting something inside of me... ew.

A crazy thing happened on our street today. About 5 doors down, on the other side of the street, some idiot crashed through a garage and kept going... the story is wild! This guy was drunk, waiting for a friend outside his house (not the guy, the friend... the friend is who lives on my street). He decided he had had enough waiting time and was oging to leave. He apparently slammed his car into reverse, spedo ut of the driveway, only the hit the car parked on the other side of the road (only one side in this neighborhood has built in driveways... most of us on my side park on the street). So apparently recognizing his boo-boo slams it into gear and TRIES AGAIN! Only the hit the same car in a different spot (in his defense... he did do better... instead of the drivers side door, he got the front side... almost there). Well realizing he was never going to back out, he slammed the car into gear and sped foreward... through his buddies garage (a wooden piece of poo) and kept going through the fence and onto the "grey" alleyway behind that row of houses (we have loads of alley ways round this end of town too!). What a flipping moron.. and it's not like we dont' know who it was... The guy who's car got hit twice was pissed. Mum and I came home from my grandmothers to find cop cars.. both going "oh shit!" cause we have had a string of breakins in the neighboorhood. Well, our neighbor came out and was like "ya'll missed it!" So he told us the story. We ended up going down to talk to the neighbors from that end of the street... met some cool people, and just watched as the cops sorted through the broken garage and the people who own the place kept looking out in "disgust" at us as we gawked (by us, I mean the whole street!). I think honestly they were embarassed... I would be too!

Hmmm... nothing else really.. oh I went to the dentist today.. it seems that all my good years of having great teeth has come to an end... after only ever having one cavity in my life, I am ashamed to say I am quite near double digits for cavaties now. The hygenist also said that I have a calcium problem in my gum line...something about the enamel wearing away due to not enough calcium in my diet sorta thing and it struck me as odd. I'm going to my doc about it because all my knee problems (sans the Bone Marrow Adema spot) are thought to be caused by calcium deficency. The thing is, I drink calcium fortified milk, atleast 24 oz a day, because I drink daycare milk... but my mum says I may have something that causes me not to absorb certain vitimins (we've noticed that despite the uptake in Vit. C and the likes (by suggestion of my doctor) that I am still getting sick as often as I was (which is almost weekly because of a lowered immune system)).

Regardless, my life is one big bit of boring, punctuated by the typical idiots!

Salut.