Why I hate clowns, and other musings of a tired mind

So that picture shows you the calander page of mine for the month of May. now the whole reason I got this calender (co-edikit, who I oddly have several amusing shirts from) was this month. I am DEATHLY afraid of clowns.. yes at 22 years old that is hard to state outloud. I suppose it's not so much a fear as it is a DEATHLY large distaste of them now. Why you may ask, would someone be afraid of innocent little clowns?... I'll tell you... Barnum and Baily Circus. My poor children will never go to a B&B Circus tour if I can help it! The clowns on large stilts... they just... scare me! And one walked right next to me, as we were near the front row, and I just freaked out... since then, whenever I have a particularly terrible nightmare, it somehow involves a clown. Yes, it's stupid, I can recieve psychological help for this, but the fact still remains that clowns and I don't mix, even to this day!

As for other musings...

My cousin is pregnant again. She just... ugh. Perhaps I'm starting to feel something for this whole "I'm never getting pregnant" attitude... or perhaps I just want to start a family so bad... but hearing that she is pregnant, while I'm happy for her, makes me want to strangle her at the same time. Now don't get me wrong. I have genuine love and happiness that she is expecting her second child. They have had a much harder time concieving this time than they did with Bella. (Bella was an opps a year before their wedding.) Regardless, I just... want to be her, and that's odd. Perhaps after I get the ball rolling on my adoption (someday) I won't have the feeling of wanting something inside of me... ew.

A crazy thing happened on our street today. About 5 doors down, on the other side of the street, some idiot crashed through a garage and kept going... the story is wild! This guy was drunk, waiting for a friend outside his house (not the guy, the friend... the friend is who lives on my street). He decided he had had enough waiting time and was oging to leave. He apparently slammed his car into reverse, spedo ut of the driveway, only the hit the car parked on the other side of the road (only one side in this neighborhood has built in driveways... most of us on my side park on the street). So apparently recognizing his boo-boo slams it into gear and TRIES AGAIN! Only the hit the same car in a different spot (in his defense... he did do better... instead of the drivers side door, he got the front side... almost there). Well realizing he was never going to back out, he slammed the car into gear and sped foreward... through his buddies garage (a wooden piece of poo) and kept going through the fence and onto the "grey" alleyway behind that row of houses (we have loads of alley ways round this end of town too!). What a flipping moron.. and it's not like we dont' know who it was... The guy who's car got hit twice was pissed. Mum and I came home from my grandmothers to find cop cars.. both going "oh shit!" cause we have had a string of breakins in the neighboorhood. Well, our neighbor came out and was like "ya'll missed it!" So he told us the story. We ended up going down to talk to the neighbors from that end of the street... met some cool people, and just watched as the cops sorted through the broken garage and the people who own the place kept looking out in "disgust" at us as we gawked (by us, I mean the whole street!). I think honestly they were embarassed... I would be too!

Hmmm... nothing else really.. oh I went to the dentist today.. it seems that all my good years of having great teeth has come to an end... after only ever having one cavity in my life, I am ashamed to say I am quite near double digits for cavaties now. The hygenist also said that I have a calcium problem in my gum line...something about the enamel wearing away due to not enough calcium in my diet sorta thing and it struck me as odd. I'm going to my doc about it because all my knee problems (sans the Bone Marrow Adema spot) are thought to be caused by calcium deficency. The thing is, I drink calcium fortified milk, atleast 24 oz a day, because I drink daycare milk... but my mum says I may have something that causes me not to absorb certain vitimins (we've noticed that despite the uptake in Vit. C and the likes (by suggestion of my doctor) that I am still getting sick as often as I was (which is almost weekly because of a lowered immune system)).

Regardless, my life is one big bit of boring, punctuated by the typical idiots!

Salut.