boredom

I was talking to a lady at work today who I call my Nana. She is the grandmother of one of the kiddos who has deeply touched my heart, and she thinks of me and the lady I teach with as second children (as we are both younger than her son). She asked about my adoptions and told me I was crazy to be going at it single and with the hopes of adopting two. I told her that I have always been one to jump in head first, and I want two because I fear I will never adopt again, especially if I have a rough adoption. then she asked me if she could go with me to russia! I laughed. Sadly I am thinking she may be the only option of a person to go with me.

My mum and I have been arguing constantly about adoption. I am withdrawling from school next semester (if I get to finish this semester even) and have decided to work at the daycare fulltime for one more year, then move on to bigger and better things. She thinks I'm stupid for staying at the daycare, for pulling out of school, and for wanting to adopt all four of my children before I turn 30. It's so frustrating to know that my mum, the woman who supported me through everything, is suddenly turning on me.

The adoption front is going very slowly for me, but I like it that way. In hopefully 6 months I will beo ut on my own, then I can start doing things... getting together with people, meeting adoption people.. meeting with CWA reps constantly... that sort of thing so when I turn 23 I can sign with the agency and go from there. I am so delighted to see another family off blogger with CWA have such a great experience. I need to email her and ask her about the "behind the scenes" type things, but I'm a chickenshit, I know this.

Anyway, off to shower and do the Bible study... I should probalby update on that.. but I'm sorry, this is the dumbest study I've done so far. I can't get into it, no matter how much I try. I despise looking up Bible verse after verse in hopes of understanding. I need a Bible in French... I'm sure I'd understand that much better... to me reading the Bible, even the new one I got, is like reading Latin... and I failed Latin... twice. I am going to stick with it, in hopes of learning something, growing to like it, or something, but all in all, I can't stand it. *insert whining here* I can't stand the people in my class, this old lady, who I respect because she is my elder and had far more amounts of life experience then I, likes to go on tangents about NOTHING! She talks and talks and we rarely get out before 9p because we have a watch a 45-50 min video every class as well. But she loes to talk... and the person hosting the meeting... I just suddenly feel very disconnected with her. She is the reason I took the class, in hopes of rekindling the connection ew've had in the past of really good bible studies, but alas...

And Renee... God that woman makes me want to hurl sharp objects. I was holding A's new baby girl... she's like 5 months old now.. not so baby anymore.. but regardless, I was playing the air game with her (holding her up and giggling at her) and Renee just walked up and snatched her from me. She was all "you get to see babies everyday, my youngest is 6"... All I could do was try not to smart back to her.. but I did tell her that NO, I don't get to hold babies everyday, I work with the twos and lately with the pre k class, who are 4/5. She mouthed off something and I just told baby Maddie that I'd see her on sunday and tried to sneak out as quietly as possible. A could tell I was upset, but Renee, oh no. That woman is so self centered. Makes me want to scream!
*end whining session*

Regardless, I'm enjoying my days iwth the pre-k.. they are fun, but they are 4. Their favourite question is "why?" and their favourite response (that they give when I ask THEM why) is "because I said so"... ahh how they learn.