Agency choices

So I'm down to 5 agencies! LOL, sadly I only started out with 9, and I wittled down so far by agencies who would talk to me starting today... being atelast a year under the "rules" (3 years by some agencies), I wanted to know an agency would take the time to talk to me now, to help me prepare and the likes. So far, 5 of the 9 have.

I'm not done searching yet... but I'm excited to have wittled some of my most advertised agencies down because they wouldn't take 5 mins to talk to me about their programme (It was rather rude, to be honest, but I digress).

If anyone works with an exceptionally excellent agency who you feel will talk to somone BEFORE they are of age to adopt, please send me an email I promise I won't name drop or the likes. I just want to be prepared and have my choices... I'm rather excited.

Please help and notify anyone you can

This guy who's aunt is missing is an awesome guy and started a foundation that I believe in whole heartedly.

Please, help if you can, and repost so that more people will see this and can help.

Thank you

MISSING: Joey Lynn Offutt

FindJoey.org

Hope Chest!

So, my grandmother let my mum take out Aunt Darce's old chest from her dining room. On this chest used to sit an old mummy that scared the shit outta my cousin! Well, I have it now. And it has officially become the hope chest for my children. I'm excited.

Surgery

Surgery went fine. I was home yesterday by 1130... with a 730 start time.. that's not bad. I spent about 35 mins in the operating theatre, then an hour in recovery, then an hour is recovery two (where family can visit)... and was home realitively earlier than anyone thought.

Thanks for the prayers.

Happy thoughts

If you have the time, if you could please remember me in your prayers. My knee sugery is today at 7:30 am.

Thanks.

100th post

Kestrel, Falcon, Eagle, and Osprey,

This is the 100th in a blog dedicated to you four. This entire journey is dedicated to brining you home, to your forever family.

I often dream about you four. I know right now, July 2007, you are not born yet, any of you. I dream about your smiles and about your small little hands and about your tiny toes. I dream about how much love you bring into my life, and me into yours. I dream daily about you.

Kestrel-
You are my oldest, the first born of my first two brought home (who I often call my twins). I dream of you as my dark haired, dark eyed little boy who is all boy. I often think of you as the one who will shower me with "Drive by" kisses and hugs. My boy that will, as my mother put it, make my heart stop, my breath catch, and my pride swell. I often wonder if I should give you your brother's name, thinking it'd fit better, as you remind me of the boy you will be named after. I can't wait to finally meet you, hold you and show you the kind of love that you can truely only get from a family. You are, in my mind, already a valued member of my family, my life and already own the greatest amount of love I can give you. I love you Aleksei Zachary, and eagerly await your presence in my life.



Falcon -
Kestrel's better half, yet a boy of your own right. I dream of you playing hopscotch a lot. I do not know what that means, but I do know I'd jump any hurdle to hold you and bring you home. You show up with dark hair and brillant grey eyes. My cuddler, my boy who will want his mamka to hold him constantly, never wanting to be far away. I eargerly await cuddling and kissing you, showering you with the love only a mamaka can give you. You hold a special place in my heart, my family will not be complete until you are with us. To watch you grow will be something of a miracle to me. I love you Aubrey Ezekiel, and cannot wait to have you home with me.

Eagle -
My girl, my baby daughter. You are the light of my life, and yet you don't even know the world yet. You are my light haired beauty, with brillant green eyes. You show up in my dreams as my darkest child, who holds onto her past longer than any of the boys. But I'm already anticipating you, I'm already planning how I can show you my love and show you that I do value your past and your culture. Someday you will see the vast pictures I've drawn showing that I love you. Your name is a grandmother you will never meet, but who I dream of you being like. A firey red head, with a little temper all your own. I dream of you being my easiest adoption, which will be a blessing. You, I feel, will be the center of our family. Bringing a completness to everything you do. I can't wait to hold you, my daughter, and bring you home to feel the touch and love of your mamaka. I love you Elisabeth Katherine, and openly await your flight home.

Osprey -
My baby, my youngest. You hold the finalization of our family. The moment you are home, our family is finally complete. I love my dreams with you. A bouncy boy, I meet you on your first birthday. You have jet black hair and chocolate brown eyes. You remind me so much of your uncle T that I cry to think about it. You are so smart, even so young. You express yourself not with tears, but other ways... a lot of pointing is done. You pick up so fast on what I want to teach you and you embrace family life better than anyone else. I cannot wait to see how you fit into my dreams once you are a reality, but I know my dream world would not lie to me. You are my last child to hold, and you have your moments. You want to be held, but to play at the same time. You are my little monkey, the one I fear I will have to throw out all my previous experience to parent. You are not born yet, but you will hopefully read this in the future and know that even now, in 2007, your mamaka wished for you and loved you. I love you Kaelin James, and know in my heart you will be home in the blink of an eye.

To you all -
You are loved and wanted, charished and celebrated. You are my babies, and I cannot wait to wrap my arms around you. I love you for, and to each of you wish a quiet life until you can come to your forever home, with me.

Names

Me - Hawk

Aleksei - Kestrel
Aubrey - Falcon
Elisabeth - Eagle
Kaelin - Osprey

So I finished finding birds of prey to go with. I didn't want ot call my future children "Vulture" or "Buzzard".. those aren't cute ones! So I found the Osprey.. and it's a pretty bird, much like a Hawk, and are often called Sea Hawks... which I like.

So now my children are all sorts of birds of prey.. I just.. if I choose more than 4, which I may, I have to go with Vulture and Buzzard.. cause there aren't that many BoP.. lol.

Friday surgery

So this friday I have surgery on my knee. I have a torn Meniscus and several cartilage floating around. I can't move the knee without great popping.. woo!

So friday, before I lose my insurance (probably September), I get to have surgery, Arthoscopic. I'm kinda excited about it, fixing my knee is a top priority in my life... and it's the final step before I can move out.. so hopefully this time next year I'll be on my own and practicing my great parental abilities (HAH!) with my own child... who knows.

Regardless, I'm looking into mission trips to Romania for next year as well. I want to go help out at an orphanage for a while... who knows. At the moment I'm dreaming of living in another country. A slavic country (Russia, Czech, Slavia, Romania, the likes). Who knows.. could be fun... I enjoy dreaming!

Anyway, if you have a second, if you could think on Friday to give me a happy thought, I'd appreciate it. Any good vibes will be awesome. Thanks!

(also, my 100th post is comming up.. I'm trying ot think of something special for it.... who knows!)

Sigs giveaway

Per request of Sig and her giveaways... A picture of my hottie...



Okay, I know he's gay, and really I've known that since I "fell in love" with him when I was like.. 12 or whatever... but he's still hot! (And he has a deep deep deep voice.. a must for a future spouse of mine.)

Regardless, Lance went from a silly looking kid with platnium blonde hair, to a rather stunning looking young man.

And to further show my fandom of many years ago, and I mean many.. I fell inlove with Lance's true first name, James... and thus my first son, which is now turning into my last son (as I want my twins first) will be Kaelin James, after Lance... and I even had two fire belly newts named James and Lance... It's sad really.

Regardless, Lance is my fantasy man.

Potter

No spoilers, I'm not an inconsiderate git.

I did not find this one as captivating as I found Half-Blood Prince. I do think it had it's own mind and was pretty cool... but I was so MAD at one death of a boy who I totally loved the rowdy spirit of. The deaths made me SO mad! I mean, shit, couldn't anyone cool survive? FTW!

Anyway, I will get to disect it a bit more.. and I can't wait till the Lexicon starts allowing comments about it... but they are waiting I think for a month to not spoil it for certain fans.

If anyone want sto discuss it, I'm open and willing! lol.

I hope everyone has a good night.

My childhood home

This is my first blogger carnival. Here goes!

My childhood home was a tri level. It was absolutely beautiful. Allow me to give you a tour, as no memories come floating back except for basically the lay out of the house. My childhood was spent mostly hiding under a bed, waiting for da to go to work. It's easier to give a tour and just float back with the tour, adding in a few things here or there that fit.

When you pull into our driveway you can see my mum is a gardener. The garage has a basketball goal hung up as well as the numbers 4919 in black metal. Stepping out of your car and looking straight out you see a huge oak tree. Next to the tree is my grandmother's old bird bath and around that is a beautiful array of Lilly of the Valley. Connected to that round garden is a long garden that is not that old. Mum put it in when I was starting high school. It has Azalea Bushes and other sorts of bushes that I'm sure mum's told me about, but I've forgotten. Again attached to that is the HUGE garden below the window. It has everything, including my wild flowers that I planted when I was 4. I am so proud of those flowers and remember very well the day that mum and I spread them around the garden. They all started out at the top right hand side, but soon we learned that those seeds spread quickly. We have a huge front porch that the kittens used to play on. On the right of the front porch is the door to the garage and sitting against it is a deer pelvic bone that a friend of ours found when he was looking through a newly dug up area. We call it a skull, and it probably still sits there.
Next to the garage door is yet another garden. It has lots of Grape Hyacinths in it. At the end of the garden is the Azalea bush that we keep killing with the basketball goal. I do suck at H.O.R.S.E.


When you walk in the front door you come into a living room. To your right was a coat closet and to your left was the room. Just past the closet was the steps going downwards and just beyond that, the steps up. There is horrible brown carpet in the walk-in room. Along the left wall is the hook for the coats. It has our last name engraved in it and 5 hooks. This is where we hang the stockings at Christmas. Next to that is a brown couch that is straight out of the 70's. Behind that is the big picture window. That window is where our cats, Bobbie and Josh, sit all the time, peering out over the garden, waiting for the possums to come out and play. On the far wall is the beautiful wood bookcases with the turn table/stereo combo in the middle on a plank of wood. All over the bookcases you see family pictures. Pictures of all my uncles and aunts when they were young and even pictures of my grandfather, whom I've never met. Next to the bookshelf is the record holder. Yes, my mum had loads of records.

Through the walk in room we go into the kitchen with a built in area for a dining table. Mum picked out beautiful white oak cabinets that have been smoke damaged. We always joke about that story, now anyways. When I was about 4 or 5, my aunt turned on the oven after we had been playing a rousing game of “hide the barbies”. We left some in the oven apparently, and had us a nice little Bar-Bie-Q. Smoke billowed throughout the house, but it's made for quite an embarrassing story as I'm getting older. There is a rather large amount of counter space in the kitchen and just beyond the island is our dining table. It has 5 chairs, and came from my Grandma Gaha. It's very old and falling apart, but it's been at our house since she died, I was 6 when that happen.

Leaving the walk in area, we'll head downstairs first. It's easier to describe downstairs and we have loads of memories hanging out down there.

First things first, bathroom is the first door on the right. Downstairs used to be my mum and da's bedroom when I was little. It had their water bed in it and their old timey furniture. Then, after my oldest brother moved out for college it became our living room. It has a nice tile floor and a hunter green couch. We had a nice 26 in TV in there and a pretty awesome entertainment center. On the other half of the room there is still some brown shag carpet. I must say my parents didn't update much from the 70's when they moved in. There is a bar, with no alcohol, and a computer on that side. Underneath the bar is another great childhood memory. On the underside of the nice black wood was fingernail polish. I had a great obsession with polish when I was a young child. I painted it bright red from the stash of my mum's polish. Mum wanted to sell me after that, but my da convinced her otherwise.

Going back upstairs we traipse through the brown carpet living room. Up 7 steps to the hall of rooms. Those 7 steps were GREAT of sliding down on cushions when I was a kid. And even after I slammed into the wall a few times, I still enjoyed it when my brothers pushed me “mega fast!”.

Standing on the 7th step you are looking at 5 doors. The first door on the right is the bathroom and shower. It's really big but all the paint is peeling cause my brothers must shower in pure hot water, and there is no vents except the one that always falls off.

The second door is a linen closet. It mostly holds sheets for our beds.

The third door, which is right opposite of the steps, used to be the room I shared with my brother. LOADS of great memories come outta that room, memories that are too personal to share and some that you would have to be a member of our family to get. The 2-3 years my brother, Fox, and I Spent in one room helped us bond in a way no one else could. Later, the room changed ownership to just Fox, and eventually my parents moved back up there, once my oldest brother, Thunder, was out.

The fourth door from the right, second from the left, started out as Fox and Thunder's room, but when I was born, Fox moved into the other room and Thunder got that room all to himself. Thunder's passion in life is space, always has been. So my mum painted his room black and put up a HUGE mural of Saturn on his back wall. And across the other walls she painted star constellations. They glowed in the dark too! It was the most awesome room I've ever been in. Once Thunder went away to college, the room became Fox's. He hated the black, so he painted over it in dark green. Hideous. Once Fox went off to college, I got that room, FINALLY. I wasn't allowed to paint it though. This room gave us such great memories. The old bunk beds were in here, and I remember once having the kittens in there only to find one peed on Fox's pillow. I never told him, until he laid in it. Oh his face was hilarious!

The final door from the right, first on the left, was my room. It is the smallest, but that's okay. There isn't much to my room, it's white, with wall paper that I've spent 10 years peeling off. My bed is plain... I'm a huge fan of white.

So back out the door, and down the steps. Back through the kitchen you see the back door. It's decorated with all my kindergarten projects. My favourite being the kite with the wiggly eyeballs all over it. Stepping out back, be careful. There is a big black lab that is waiting to pounce on you! This back yard is most of my childhood memories.

All throughout my life there was a high way behind my house, HWY 22 to be exact. The most exciting moments of my life were involving cars and that highway. When I was 7, a port-a-potty truck crashed through our fence, scattering feces every where. When I was 8 an older type car crashed through, leaving a younger boy into the house cursing his brains out and stating “My father is going to f***ing kill me!”. When I was 9 another car crashed through the fence and almost took out the house.

Growing up, my childhood wasn't littered with many great stories. The only great story that's worth mentioning is that I had a best friend way back then. We used to watch New York Undercover every thursday night and had a “half way” point between out houses (though it was 12 houses from mine and only 4 from hers... she swears it's half way between the houses). Every night, when we were done playing, we go to our half way point and do our secret hand thing... “You can't be the hippest cop in NY if you don't know the code.. ba damn” and we'd hit knuckles.

We moved from the house of my childhood when I turned 18 and went off to college. We've lived in 2 other places since then, and the house now isn't nearly as nice as that one was. I can't wait until I'm able to buy a house, because I fully plan to go make an offer on that house and hopefully get back the house I grew up in.

This entry doesn't have many memories, because honestly I don't have many that are all that great. We never sat around and sang songs, we never read the Bible together, we never did much. We all had our own things, but the one thing that always makes me smile when I think of that house is the fact that we were a family there. Now we all live elsewhere, my parents are divorced, Fox is battling kidney disease and trying to deal with his GF who's parents died in the Comair crash of almost a year ago, Thunder now owns his own house and is trying to fix that up so that some day he can start a family of his own there. Mum is remarried and I live in this house with her and her husband, and da moved to a completely different state and is remarried for the 2nd time after his divorce. Everything has changed, but those times spent in that house, even the times under the bed hiding, shaped me into who I am today and shape my dos and don'ts for my future children.

I hope you enjoyed my tour. It's more a tour, but I hope it fits into the carnival... we'll see I suppose.

Please pray

My cousin Judy is passing as I type this. They've called the family in, yet she has shunned so much of the family that none of us feel welcomed to go there. My grandmother (who is the actual first cousin of Judy) is so... everything. She grew up with Judy as another sister and now she had to make the decision to turn off life support. She stopped everything but her Morphine, because she does not want Judy is pain.

Judy has stage 3 terminal breast cancer. She found a lump in her breast 15 years ago and never got it checked out. Her friends even knew and said nothing. Once my aunt died (who is really my great great aunt.. but she was always Aunt Darce to use), Judy shunned the family, she totally rejected us and we haven't spoken to her is 15 years.. except my grandmother.

Now we deal with the aftermath. We get to deal with everything now and my grandmother is just... having a hard time of it. She did not get her will signed.. and now Maw has to deal with it intestate...

I just... if anyone can spare a moment to pray.. our family needs it tonight.

Poi

So I have a friend who is into all things poi and slowly i'm getting that way. I can spin anything, always have been that way, so now I'm getting into somethign fun and NEW!

What is poi? Well poi is technically teh art of spinning.. most people call it "fire spinning" but I don't wanna do fire. I'm all about doing LED lights. I have no intention of burning off my face! lol.

Basically poi is a toy that you learn to spin, eiht eron a full staff or two links. I am going to do the link spinning. It's awesome... and I really just lost all I was gunna say about it.. lol.

Anyway, I'm including a video of poi spinning.. you can see.

Mucho fun! and an activity you can do with your family! There is loads you can get short enough for kids.. and tha'ts how it relates to adoption and family.. see! lol. Once I start spinning good, when I adopt my children I can spin with them starting at a young age.. loads of spinning to help with bonding! woo!

Yahh, I'll shut up now and just show you the video:

Harry Potter 5

Oh my gawwwdddd!!! I saw Potter 5, IMAX, 3-D... hot shit well worth the 12 bucks I spent on a ticket (it was my monthly splurge on myself).

Let me give you a quick run down of the experience...

Went alone (cause I'm a dork with no local friends) and got sat next to some "trend" kids (the chick had those toe pumps from that master card commercial, and was excited to share that to everyone). The kids weren't as bad as the "philosophy major" who sat with his date on the other side of me... GOD he was annoying.. kept trying to sound all philosophical and cam eout like a jerk when corrected several times about the books VS movies. All in all the people in the Theatre weren't as horrible as I was when I was a kid (No malted milk balls were thrown!)

Regardless, The movie wa AWESOME! It was dark, demented and hyper! I adore the 3-D aspect. It was the entire fight sequence! Imagine them down in the department of Mysteries and jumping out at you! When the Death Eaters vanished and returned through the fight, it was like they were flying around you. The Thestrals were amazingly done so that they were flying out at you and fly about, and even before hte 3-D part (which was from thestral flight to the end of the sequence when Fudge sees Voldemort) the thestrals were amazing!

Luna was cool. I wasn't expecting the flightyness of the character, but you know, in the end, it was cool (or maybe Nargles have taken my brain... who knows!)

There were a few inconsistancies I didn't like... and from here on out will be a few movie spoilers.. so if you haven't seen the movie and plan to (and don't wanna be spoiled), stop reading.

I didn't like how in the DA, it ended up being Cho who was a snitch, or how they had it differ that Umbridge used Veritisai potion against them... I was almost excited to see how they'd do the puss filled boils writting "SNITCH" on her forehead. I don't like the Gwarp sequence, though I DO like how Hermy was able to use a stern voice to get him to put her down.

Some things that differed that I liked were:

I loved how they did the Centaur scene! I do like the Gwarp... I wasn't thinking how'd they do it, it was cute!


The one scene I LOVED, that made me cry, was the death of Sirius... OMG! I had my little 3-D glasses on and I just sat there going "OMG! OMG OMG!!!" I can't believe.. but the way they showed it was MUCH better than I'd ever imagined in it my head.. and the sad thing was Sirius had called him "James" right before he went down.. OMG!!! The gut wrenching aspect of it! OHH!

Anyway, if you've seen it, what you think?

Hey now you're an allstar!

I just blew my mum out of hte water with that "singing Bee" with Joey Fatone!

Hot shit they did my faves! They did Bohemian Rhapsody, Smash Mouth, Walk like an Egyptian! Holy cow! I kicked butt!

Regardless, I sang the entire Allstar song by Smash Mouth. It helps that we listen to it every tuesday on Tumblebus with the kiddos who go on there! (It's part of the Shrek Soundtrack.)

Anyway, I have a new show I adore! (I also kicked NSYNC butt when "Bye bye bye" came on).

~Hawk

Amused

So I'm gettin shit for a post I have up.. and all I can say is "shove it". If you want to email me personally about it, go for it. I will keep deleting negative comments about it, and I will continue to "censor" MY blog.. it's mine, I shall do as I choose with it.

100 visits in a week (4 of which are mine,w hich is why I'm only counting 100 of them!). I'm kinda excited abotu that! WOOHOO!

For those visiting, feel free to leave a note and let me know who you are! I am all about meeting new people round blogger and anywhere really.

Anyways, Have a good night/morning.

~Hawk

Dawn and Joe's fight

Dawn and Joe

IF you are reading my blog and have NEVER heard of Dawn and Joe DeLorenzo, please take a moment to go read their story.

They have had a shitty time trying to adopt from Kaz... They have had three referrals and all three children are still in Kaz, and they are home with an "empty crib and out 40,000 dollars" . They need all the help they can! If you have a moment, please please please please PLEASE take a moment to step up and help them out. All their information is on their blog!

Thanks!

~Hawk

Brithday bashes and Stephen Foster Story!

So today was jammed packed! First I had Wacky's 4th bday party.. dear God that kid made out like a bandit in loot! I added to that, of course! I got him two shirts (One was black and white tie die and said "I'm with the band, and we rock" and the other was multi colour deep tie die adn said "Surfer" on it), a DVD nad Batman and Scooby Doo together (kid is a NUT about scooby doo and batman!), Bubbles (what he told me friday that he REALLY wanted for his birthday!) and a framed poster of the old Scooby art that said "Hey man, like, get a clue"... He LOVED it!

I was sad that we had to leave the party early for the little guy. But we had so much fun. His parents are a hoot and I consider them small friends (meaning we don't go out for beer after work, but we talk a lot and hang out at daycare and functions). They made me laugh... last year, Wack had a chocolate cake and all that.. and I HATE chocolate.. so this year, knowing I'd be there, they got a white cake with white icing... IT's amazing these people care more for the taste of everyone at their party then my own family... but I'm PMSing and everything makes me cry.. and needless to say I choked up and made up an excuse like "I need to go pee!" to get out so they didn't think I was rediculous!

Regardless, Wacky opened presents and we chilled with his parents and Naerys parents and ate lightly (as they DID have a very pig centered spread.. and I Don't eat pig.. to which Boney (Wacky's dad) was like "well shit, had I known that, I would have gotten the honey glazed turkey.. it's MUCH better!) and p,layed a bit with the boys.. it was a good morning!

Then I came home and we left out to Stephen Foster Story down in Bardstown. IT was good.. first time I'd seen it. It was a good musical.. but not something I'll be paying 16 bucks to see again.. it was no RENT.

Now I'm off to bed with a migraine and I hope mum forgets about church in the morning...

Dear God...

She's written a book!

Unlearning Adoption...

Jessy DeBalzo, idiot anti adoption advocate, has written a book. IF anyone has been to her webpage before Adoption, Legalized Lies you will see she is not very good at her writing skills.

This girl, and I say girl cause sh'es not much older than me but still have the mentality of a child, claims that all adoptees are mentally harmed by adoption, that all adoptive parents are "kidnappers" and lying to their children and that all parents who surrender their kids for adoptions are coerced and then feel horribly regretful for the rest of their life for giving up their child. According to her, International Adoption is the worst kind because we, as AP's, are "Stealing the childrne from their culture" and "forcing them to live where they were not born" which in turn causes Internation Adoptee's to be "resentful" of america..

This chick has a serious problem, and I just laugh that she feels she has enough human knowledge to write a book... This should be interesting...

(All quotes are from a livejournal debate community that I am in with her (and hundreds of other people)... I never miss a moment to expose this idiot for what she is, and I do use strong language with her because she is for the abolition of Adoption under the false pretense that no one should be able to surrender their baby. And I know FOR A FACT that she believes in Infanticide over adoption. Anyone like that deserves to be tarred and feathered.)

a song (again)

There is a song we used to sing at church camp that I cannot think of the lyrics to to save my life...

Okay, I know most of them.. but it's the lyrics that gets the poor dog from the swap to Hawaii that gets me...

if you know this song, help a friend out here!

There once was a poor little doggie
Who lived with a poor little froggie
The dog was upset
Cause he was all wet
But that was okay with the froggie...
Some funky transition!!!!!!!
Now he's the
Hullah hullah baby from Hawaii
The hullah hullah baby from Hawaii
The hullah hllah baby from Hawaii today!!