27 August 2007

In memory




1 year ago a plane crashed up in Lexington. We didn't think much of it, except, oh how sad. Then mum got a phone call from her best friend "How's Fox doing after the crash?"... and it all got kinda scary... "What do you mean how's Fox?" "Oh, you didn't know?" "No, WHAT DON'T I KNOW ABOUT FOX???" "His GFs parents were on that flight.... they are dead"

Two people we knew died on that flight, and today marks the one year anniversary of that death.

So in the memory of all those who died in the flight, and in the greatest memory of the Combs'... Please take a moment to remember everyone, all 50 lives touched by the flight, 49 of them lost.

• Rebecca Adams, 47
• Christina Anderson, 39
• Lyle Anderson, 55
• Arnold Andrews, 64
• Anne Marie Bailey, 49
• Bobbie Benton, 50, and Jesse Clark Benton, 48
• Carole Bizzack, 64
• George Brunacini, 60
• Brian Byrd, 28
• Jeffrey Clay, 35
Homer Combs, 51, and Karen Diane Combs, 52
• Fenton Dawson, 46
• Thomas Fahey, 26
• Mike Finley, 52
• C.W. Fortney II, 34
• Wade "Bart" Frederick, 44
• Hollie Gilbert, 35
• Erik Harris, 28
• Kelly Heyer, 27
• Jonathan Hooker, 27, and Scarlett Parsley Hooker, 23
• Priscilla Johnson, 54, and JoAnn Wright, 56
• Tetsuya Kono, 34, and Nahoko Kono, 31
• Charles Lykins, 46
• Dan Mallory, 55
• Steve McElravy, 57
• Lynda McKee, 58
• Bobby Meaux, 31
• Leslie Morris II, 72, and Kaye Morris, 58
• Cecile Moscoe, 29
• Judy Rains, 35
• Michael Ryan, 55
• Mary Jane Silas, 58
• Pat Smith, 58
• Timothy Snoddy, 51
• Marcie Thomason, 25
• Greg Threet, 35
• Randy Towles, 47
• Larry Turner, 51
• Victoria Washington, 54
• Jeff Williams, 49
• Paige Winters, 16
• Bryan Woodward, 39
• Betty Young, 74
• James Polehinke The lone survivor

20 August 2007

Date three

Okay, so dating for you married people who read my blog may not SEEM interesting.. but for me.. it is.

Date three went great. We hung out at his apartment, had a beer, played video games and watched the simpsons and Venture brothers. It was pretty cool! We even held hands.. which for me was happy... Taking it slow...

He did break my "goal code" on my other journal.. which sucks.. cause now he knows "goal" for date 4 in a couple weeks.... but that's okay.. perhaps he'll take charge and do it... but who knows.

Anyway, off to run around for a bit.. only sucky thing about dating EJ is that he lives in Lex and I'm in Lou.. about an hour and a half away... so I hate that we can really only see eachother on weekends right now.. but that's taking it nice and slow...

Alright, update later with my agency post.. I haven't forgotten.. just been too busy.

17 August 2007

Ugh

My brother Fox has Lupus.. Lupus Nefritis... And I am oddly rejoicing... because they thought he had instage renal disease cause he's having kidney problems. I kno Lupus is still horrible.. but many people on my da's side of the family are stilling living with Lupus... and have been for many years... I'm sad that at 27 my brother has to deal with this... but I'm glad it's not something worse...

Regardless, nothing major is going on in my life.. I'm going to be writing hopefully a good adoption post soon about agencies... Other than that.. it's been a week focused on Fox and making sure he's okay.

09 August 2007

Date numero 2!

So, date one went great, and now I have date two!

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Bowling.

04 August 2007

First date

Okay, so it's sad to admit, at 22 I just went on my first date. Yes, you heard me correctly... or shall I say read me correctly.

I went out with a bio guy.. and he was pretty damn cool.

We went to the movies, classic first, and saw the Simpsons movie. And as someone who doesn't really watch the show... it was pretty darn cool. It was hilarious at parts.. and I must say... Spider Pig was awesome!

Then over to O'Charley's for supper. Steak for him and turkey for me... and he actually didn't seem odd that I didn't get a steak... My brothers freak acuse I don't eat what they do...

Funny thing at the restaruant. Our waiter, Anthony, kept checking him out! It was hilarious. We'd be sitting there and he REALLY paid attentiont o him.. and E didn't see it at first. It wasn't until he took our order and put his arm on E's booth that he realized I wasn't crazy. It was great... he always spoke to him (cept maybe once he looked at me... and I honestly think that's when the bill came out), he refilled his water glass once and asked him if he wanted a second (mind you our glasses weren't dispropotionate in how much we each had left) and when he went to the wait station behind out booth he started at E like he was getting some! Oh it was great!

Regardless, for a first date.. my awesomeness! He wasn't forward with anything.. he seemed as nervous as me and generally didn't care to talk about childhood. He told some good stories, I got some in too... all in all I'd say by the end, I was comfortable. No one who reads this will understand that statement... but for me, that's pretty big.

All in all, I'd say it was a succesfull and hopefully repeatable.

That's all!

A date?

Oh my I think I gave my mum a heartattack! I haven't dated since I had my heart broken.. mind you that's quite a bit ago.. and I have a date tonight!

Yes, you heard me correctly.. me.. who swore I'd never date again.. is going to see the Simpson's movie with a boy... a real true boy! A boy who sought ME out.. who contacted ME first... and I'm quite astonished I agreed. He's driving an hour and a half to come see a movie with ME!

Lol... can you tell I'm nervously excited... I just have to get use of the car... Which I doubt I will have a problem with.. if mum ever gets off the phone!

Alright.. time to get ready.. what the heck.. get ready! woo!

01 August 2007

SBP

Okay SBP, I officially love you!

I got your package and I just can't wait to find out who you are so I can send you thousands of thanks yous and a few cards and such! Dear goodness!

(and you reminded me tha tI need to make a trip to the post office and mail out my SBP stuff!)

Again, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

31 July 2007

Agency choices

So I'm down to 5 agencies! LOL, sadly I only started out with 9, and I wittled down so far by agencies who would talk to me starting today... being atelast a year under the "rules" (3 years by some agencies), I wanted to know an agency would take the time to talk to me now, to help me prepare and the likes. So far, 5 of the 9 have.

I'm not done searching yet... but I'm excited to have wittled some of my most advertised agencies down because they wouldn't take 5 mins to talk to me about their programme (It was rather rude, to be honest, but I digress).

If anyone works with an exceptionally excellent agency who you feel will talk to somone BEFORE they are of age to adopt, please send me an email I promise I won't name drop or the likes. I just want to be prepared and have my choices... I'm rather excited.

30 July 2007

Please help and notify anyone you can

This guy who's aunt is missing is an awesome guy and started a foundation that I believe in whole heartedly.

Please, help if you can, and repost so that more people will see this and can help.

Thank you


MISSING: Joey Lynn Offutt

FindJoey.org

29 July 2007

Hope Chest!

So, my grandmother let my mum take out Aunt Darce's old chest from her dining room. On this chest used to sit an old mummy that scared the shit outta my cousin! Well, I have it now. And it has officially become the hope chest for my children. I'm excited.

28 July 2007

Surgery

Surgery went fine. I was home yesterday by 1130... with a 730 start time.. that's not bad. I spent about 35 mins in the operating theatre, then an hour in recovery, then an hour is recovery two (where family can visit)... and was home realitively earlier than anyone thought.

Thanks for the prayers.

27 July 2007

Happy thoughts

If you have the time, if you could please remember me in your prayers. My knee sugery is today at 7:30 am.

Thanks.

24 July 2007

100th post

Kestrel, Falcon, Eagle, and Osprey,

This is the 100th in a blog dedicated to you four. This entire journey is dedicated to brining you home, to your forever family.

I often dream about you four. I know right now, July 2007, you are not born yet, any of you. I dream about your smiles and about your small little hands and about your tiny toes. I dream about how much love you bring into my life, and me into yours. I dream daily about you.

Kestrel-
You are my oldest, the first born of my first two brought home (who I often call my twins). I dream of you as my dark haired, dark eyed little boy who is all boy. I often think of you as the one who will shower me with "Drive by" kisses and hugs. My boy that will, as my mother put it, make my heart stop, my breath catch, and my pride swell. I often wonder if I should give you your brother's name, thinking it'd fit better, as you remind me of the boy you will be named after. I can't wait to finally meet you, hold you and show you the kind of love that you can truely only get from a family. You are, in my mind, already a valued member of my family, my life and already own the greatest amount of love I can give you. I love you Aleksei Zachary, and eagerly await your presence in my life.



Falcon -
Kestrel's better half, yet a boy of your own right. I dream of you playing hopscotch a lot. I do not know what that means, but I do know I'd jump any hurdle to hold you and bring you home. You show up with dark hair and brillant grey eyes. My cuddler, my boy who will want his mamka to hold him constantly, never wanting to be far away. I eargerly await cuddling and kissing you, showering you with the love only a mamaka can give you. You hold a special place in my heart, my family will not be complete until you are with us. To watch you grow will be something of a miracle to me. I love you Aubrey Ezekiel, and cannot wait to have you home with me.

Eagle -
My girl, my baby daughter. You are the light of my life, and yet you don't even know the world yet. You are my light haired beauty, with brillant green eyes. You show up in my dreams as my darkest child, who holds onto her past longer than any of the boys. But I'm already anticipating you, I'm already planning how I can show you my love and show you that I do value your past and your culture. Someday you will see the vast pictures I've drawn showing that I love you. Your name is a grandmother you will never meet, but who I dream of you being like. A firey red head, with a little temper all your own. I dream of you being my easiest adoption, which will be a blessing. You, I feel, will be the center of our family. Bringing a completness to everything you do. I can't wait to hold you, my daughter, and bring you home to feel the touch and love of your mamaka. I love you Elisabeth Katherine, and openly await your flight home.

Osprey -
My baby, my youngest. You hold the finalization of our family. The moment you are home, our family is finally complete. I love my dreams with you. A bouncy boy, I meet you on your first birthday. You have jet black hair and chocolate brown eyes. You remind me so much of your uncle T that I cry to think about it. You are so smart, even so young. You express yourself not with tears, but other ways... a lot of pointing is done. You pick up so fast on what I want to teach you and you embrace family life better than anyone else. I cannot wait to see how you fit into my dreams once you are a reality, but I know my dream world would not lie to me. You are my last child to hold, and you have your moments. You want to be held, but to play at the same time. You are my little monkey, the one I fear I will have to throw out all my previous experience to parent. You are not born yet, but you will hopefully read this in the future and know that even now, in 2007, your mamaka wished for you and loved you. I love you Kaelin James, and know in my heart you will be home in the blink of an eye.

To you all -
You are loved and wanted, charished and celebrated. You are my babies, and I cannot wait to wrap my arms around you. I love you for, and to each of you wish a quiet life until you can come to your forever home, with me.

Names

Me - Hawk

Aleksei - Kestrel
Aubrey - Falcon
Elisabeth - Eagle
Kaelin - Osprey

So I finished finding birds of prey to go with. I didn't want ot call my future children "Vulture" or "Buzzard".. those aren't cute ones! So I found the Osprey.. and it's a pretty bird, much like a Hawk, and are often called Sea Hawks... which I like.

So now my children are all sorts of birds of prey.. I just.. if I choose more than 4, which I may, I have to go with Vulture and Buzzard.. cause there aren't that many BoP.. lol.

Friday surgery

So this friday I have surgery on my knee. I have a torn Meniscus and several cartilage floating around. I can't move the knee without great popping.. woo!

So friday, before I lose my insurance (probably September), I get to have surgery, Arthoscopic. I'm kinda excited about it, fixing my knee is a top priority in my life... and it's the final step before I can move out.. so hopefully this time next year I'll be on my own and practicing my great parental abilities (HAH!) with my own child... who knows.

Regardless, I'm looking into mission trips to Romania for next year as well. I want to go help out at an orphanage for a while... who knows. At the moment I'm dreaming of living in another country. A slavic country (Russia, Czech, Slavia, Romania, the likes). Who knows.. could be fun... I enjoy dreaming!

Anyway, if you have a second, if you could think on Friday to give me a happy thought, I'd appreciate it. Any good vibes will be awesome. Thanks!

(also, my 100th post is comming up.. I'm trying ot think of something special for it.... who knows!)

23 July 2007

Sigs giveaway

Per request of Sig and her giveaways... A picture of my hottie...



Okay, I know he's gay, and really I've known that since I "fell in love" with him when I was like.. 12 or whatever... but he's still hot! (And he has a deep deep deep voice.. a must for a future spouse of mine.)

Regardless, Lance went from a silly looking kid with platnium blonde hair, to a rather stunning looking young man.

And to further show my fandom of many years ago, and I mean many.. I fell inlove with Lance's true first name, James... and thus my first son, which is now turning into my last son (as I want my twins first) will be Kaelin James, after Lance... and I even had two fire belly newts named James and Lance... It's sad really.

Regardless, Lance is my fantasy man.

22 July 2007

Potter

No spoilers, I'm not an inconsiderate git.

I did not find this one as captivating as I found Half-Blood Prince. I do think it had it's own mind and was pretty cool... but I was so MAD at one death of a boy who I totally loved the rowdy spirit of. The deaths made me SO mad! I mean, shit, couldn't anyone cool survive? FTW!

Anyway, I will get to disect it a bit more.. and I can't wait till the Lexicon starts allowing comments about it... but they are waiting I think for a month to not spoil it for certain fans.

If anyone want sto discuss it, I'm open and willing! lol.

I hope everyone has a good night.

20 July 2007

My childhood home

This is my first blogger carnival. Here goes!

My childhood home was a tri level. It was absolutely beautiful. Allow me to give you a tour, as no memories come floating back except for basically the lay out of the house. My childhood was spent mostly hiding under a bed, waiting for da to go to work. It's easier to give a tour and just float back with the tour, adding in a few things here or there that fit.

When you pull into our driveway you can see my mum is a gardener. The garage has a basketball goal hung up as well as the numbers 4919 in black metal. Stepping out of your car and looking straight out you see a huge oak tree. Next to the tree is my grandmother's old bird bath and around that is a beautiful array of Lilly of the Valley. Connected to that round garden is a long garden that is not that old. Mum put it in when I was starting high school. It has Azalea Bushes and other sorts of bushes that I'm sure mum's told me about, but I've forgotten. Again attached to that is the HUGE garden below the window. It has everything, including my wild flowers that I planted when I was 4. I am so proud of those flowers and remember very well the day that mum and I spread them around the garden. They all started out at the top right hand side, but soon we learned that those seeds spread quickly. We have a huge front porch that the kittens used to play on. On the right of the front porch is the door to the garage and sitting against it is a deer pelvic bone that a friend of ours found when he was looking through a newly dug up area. We call it a skull, and it probably still sits there.
Next to the garage door is yet another garden. It has lots of Grape Hyacinths in it. At the end of the garden is the Azalea bush that we keep killing with the basketball goal. I do suck at H.O.R.S.E.


When you walk in the front door you come into a living room. To your right was a coat closet and to your left was the room. Just past the closet was the steps going downwards and just beyond that, the steps up. There is horrible brown carpet in the walk-in room. Along the left wall is the hook for the coats. It has our last name engraved in it and 5 hooks. This is where we hang the stockings at Christmas. Next to that is a brown couch that is straight out of the 70's. Behind that is the big picture window. That window is where our cats, Bobbie and Josh, sit all the time, peering out over the garden, waiting for the possums to come out and play. On the far wall is the beautiful wood bookcases with the turn table/stereo combo in the middle on a plank of wood. All over the bookcases you see family pictures. Pictures of all my uncles and aunts when they were young and even pictures of my grandfather, whom I've never met. Next to the bookshelf is the record holder. Yes, my mum had loads of records.

Through the walk in room we go into the kitchen with a built in area for a dining table. Mum picked out beautiful white oak cabinets that have been smoke damaged. We always joke about that story, now anyways. When I was about 4 or 5, my aunt turned on the oven after we had been playing a rousing game of “hide the barbies”. We left some in the oven apparently, and had us a nice little Bar-Bie-Q. Smoke billowed throughout the house, but it's made for quite an embarrassing story as I'm getting older. There is a rather large amount of counter space in the kitchen and just beyond the island is our dining table. It has 5 chairs, and came from my Grandma Gaha. It's very old and falling apart, but it's been at our house since she died, I was 6 when that happen.

Leaving the walk in area, we'll head downstairs first. It's easier to describe downstairs and we have loads of memories hanging out down there.

First things first, bathroom is the first door on the right. Downstairs used to be my mum and da's bedroom when I was little. It had their water bed in it and their old timey furniture. Then, after my oldest brother moved out for college it became our living room. It has a nice tile floor and a hunter green couch. We had a nice 26 in TV in there and a pretty awesome entertainment center. On the other half of the room there is still some brown shag carpet. I must say my parents didn't update much from the 70's when they moved in. There is a bar, with no alcohol, and a computer on that side. Underneath the bar is another great childhood memory. On the underside of the nice black wood was fingernail polish. I had a great obsession with polish when I was a young child. I painted it bright red from the stash of my mum's polish. Mum wanted to sell me after that, but my da convinced her otherwise.

Going back upstairs we traipse through the brown carpet living room. Up 7 steps to the hall of rooms. Those 7 steps were GREAT of sliding down on cushions when I was a kid. And even after I slammed into the wall a few times, I still enjoyed it when my brothers pushed me “mega fast!”.

Standing on the 7th step you are looking at 5 doors. The first door on the right is the bathroom and shower. It's really big but all the paint is peeling cause my brothers must shower in pure hot water, and there is no vents except the one that always falls off.

The second door is a linen closet. It mostly holds sheets for our beds.

The third door, which is right opposite of the steps, used to be the room I shared with my brother. LOADS of great memories come outta that room, memories that are too personal to share and some that you would have to be a member of our family to get. The 2-3 years my brother, Fox, and I Spent in one room helped us bond in a way no one else could. Later, the room changed ownership to just Fox, and eventually my parents moved back up there, once my oldest brother, Thunder, was out.

The fourth door from the right, second from the left, started out as Fox and Thunder's room, but when I was born, Fox moved into the other room and Thunder got that room all to himself. Thunder's passion in life is space, always has been. So my mum painted his room black and put up a HUGE mural of Saturn on his back wall. And across the other walls she painted star constellations. They glowed in the dark too! It was the most awesome room I've ever been in. Once Thunder went away to college, the room became Fox's. He hated the black, so he painted over it in dark green. Hideous. Once Fox went off to college, I got that room, FINALLY. I wasn't allowed to paint it though. This room gave us such great memories. The old bunk beds were in here, and I remember once having the kittens in there only to find one peed on Fox's pillow. I never told him, until he laid in it. Oh his face was hilarious!

The final door from the right, first on the left, was my room. It is the smallest, but that's okay. There isn't much to my room, it's white, with wall paper that I've spent 10 years peeling off. My bed is plain... I'm a huge fan of white.

So back out the door, and down the steps. Back through the kitchen you see the back door. It's decorated with all my kindergarten projects. My favourite being the kite with the wiggly eyeballs all over it. Stepping out back, be careful. There is a big black lab that is waiting to pounce on you! This back yard is most of my childhood memories.

All throughout my life there was a high way behind my house, HWY 22 to be exact. The most exciting moments of my life were involving cars and that highway. When I was 7, a port-a-potty truck crashed through our fence, scattering feces every where. When I was 8 an older type car crashed through, leaving a younger boy into the house cursing his brains out and stating “My father is going to f***ing kill me!”. When I was 9 another car crashed through the fence and almost took out the house.

Growing up, my childhood wasn't littered with many great stories. The only great story that's worth mentioning is that I had a best friend way back then. We used to watch New York Undercover every thursday night and had a “half way” point between out houses (though it was 12 houses from mine and only 4 from hers... she swears it's half way between the houses). Every night, when we were done playing, we go to our half way point and do our secret hand thing... “You can't be the hippest cop in NY if you don't know the code.. ba damn” and we'd hit knuckles.

We moved from the house of my childhood when I turned 18 and went off to college. We've lived in 2 other places since then, and the house now isn't nearly as nice as that one was. I can't wait until I'm able to buy a house, because I fully plan to go make an offer on that house and hopefully get back the house I grew up in.

This entry doesn't have many memories, because honestly I don't have many that are all that great. We never sat around and sang songs, we never read the Bible together, we never did much. We all had our own things, but the one thing that always makes me smile when I think of that house is the fact that we were a family there. Now we all live elsewhere, my parents are divorced, Fox is battling kidney disease and trying to deal with his GF who's parents died in the Comair crash of almost a year ago, Thunder now owns his own house and is trying to fix that up so that some day he can start a family of his own there. Mum is remarried and I live in this house with her and her husband, and da moved to a completely different state and is remarried for the 2nd time after his divorce. Everything has changed, but those times spent in that house, even the times under the bed hiding, shaped me into who I am today and shape my dos and don'ts for my future children.

I hope you enjoyed my tour. It's more a tour, but I hope it fits into the carnival... we'll see I suppose.

16 July 2007

Please pray

My cousin Judy is passing as I type this. They've called the family in, yet she has shunned so much of the family that none of us feel welcomed to go there. My grandmother (who is the actual first cousin of Judy) is so... everything. She grew up with Judy as another sister and now she had to make the decision to turn off life support. She stopped everything but her Morphine, because she does not want Judy is pain.

Judy has stage 3 terminal breast cancer. She found a lump in her breast 15 years ago and never got it checked out. Her friends even knew and said nothing. Once my aunt died (who is really my great great aunt.. but she was always Aunt Darce to use), Judy shunned the family, she totally rejected us and we haven't spoken to her is 15 years.. except my grandmother.

Now we deal with the aftermath. We get to deal with everything now and my grandmother is just... having a hard time of it. She did not get her will signed.. and now Maw has to deal with it intestate...

I just... if anyone can spare a moment to pray.. our family needs it tonight.

14 July 2007

Poi

So I have a friend who is into all things poi and slowly i'm getting that way. I can spin anything, always have been that way, so now I'm getting into somethign fun and NEW!

What is poi? Well poi is technically teh art of spinning.. most people call it "fire spinning" but I don't wanna do fire. I'm all about doing LED lights. I have no intention of burning off my face! lol.

Basically poi is a toy that you learn to spin, eiht eron a full staff or two links. I am going to do the link spinning. It's awesome... and I really just lost all I was gunna say about it.. lol.

Anyway, I'm including a video of poi spinning.. you can see.

Mucho fun! and an activity you can do with your family! There is loads you can get short enough for kids.. and tha'ts how it relates to adoption and family.. see! lol. Once I start spinning good, when I adopt my children I can spin with them starting at a young age.. loads of spinning to help with bonding! woo!

Yahh, I'll shut up now and just show you the video: