101 Questions

Okay, not 101, but a few.

I am pondering over closed VS. Open adoption. I read DEBBIE'S blog daily and after waiting for a Russian adoption she opted instead for an open domestic adoption. I read a few other blogs she links out religiously and I often wonder... "Open VS Closed".

I don't want to seem closed minded... not at all. Open adoptions seem uncomfortable to me... I'll be perfectly honest. I have wanted closed adoptions from the begining, which is why foreign adoption seemed so right to me... it was where I was being called. And now I am in a different seaseon with my life and find myself looking at open adoptions, domestic adoptions and adoption through the foster care system... all of which have been shown to me by people who I look up to in the adoption world.

That said... I often wonder... Why open? Why the need to have the birth mother so close? What if the birth mother doesn't want to BE that close? Is open good for the kids bonding times? I mean, if they KNOW this other woman was their mum, that's one thing, but to be in monthly or whatever contact with her, couldn't that confuse the kid? Does confusion become greater as the kid gets older, teh feelings of resentment over "Well, why did you choose not to keep me but kept them?" (I know a woman who gave up her 8th kid, but kept the other 7.) Couldn't that cause confusion for the kid over parents VS PARENTS?

I sound horrible, I know that, but these are all honest thoughts in my head, and dammit this is my blog. If you don't like my honesty, go away :)

that all said, I'm sure I'll add a million more questions to this over time, and as our adoption gets closer (HAH! I've come to think it'll NEVER happen :( ) I'm sure I'll have a million more questions.

thanks,

Hawk